Importance

To different people, the degree of importance of a specific thing can differ completely. To some people, pride might be of utmost importance but to others pride might not even exist in their dictionary. Therefore, it is important identify what is of importance to yourself and also to those you care about.

To assume what you feel is important will be important to others is a common mistake that many people made. To imply that something is necessary just because you feel is necessary can turn out to cause trouble, dissatisfaction or obstructing the happiness of someone.

Instead if you actually find out what are the things that are considered important to those you care for, you might be able to put a smile on their face with simple actions. For example, some people might feel that appreciation is important and just a word of thank you would put a smile on their face. The same goes to yourself, know what is important to you and strive to get it.

Importance differ among individuals

Leader

What makes a leader a good leader? It is often quite a big question mark to many as to what must be done in order to become a good leader. The answer is very subjective actually. Different people take different approach to lead others. The paths they take can differ completely but what makes one better than another?

One basic role of a leader is to have people listen to orders given. The approach can differ from being their friend and have them want to help you, to be a dictator ruling in fear or even order by incentives where they listen to get reward. There’s no right or wrong as to what way is used. However, there is suitable and not suitable ways to do it and to different people and in different situations, the effectiveness of each way would differ.

Is just by being able to have people listen to the orders given make you a good leader? If not, what needs to be done? I’ve heard of good leaders are those who produce other good leaders. I’ve also heard of good leaders are those that have good followers. Are any of them the answer? It is subjective to the situation actually.

A leader is a person who guides people to work together and complete objectives. What people actually want to get by having a leader? Have you ever asked yourself what you want? It’s to achieve your aims and goals. You hope someone can guide you to the end of the road of your goals. A good leader helps people achieve them. There are those who need to be a leader to climb to the peak of their mountains, some merely wish to be able to contribute to the society in a way and maintaining a peaceful stable life and others have their own desire.

That is why not everyone needs to be made into a leader. However, a leader can’t possibly be there to guide everyone until they all reach all their goals. A more feasible way is to train them to be independent and mature enough to think of their own way getting there. When you're able to help everyone excel along their own paths, you become a great leader. There's no exception to your own goals as well. That's my idea of a good leader.

There's no one way to be a good leader

Unseen efforts

Are you the type of person who puts in a lot of effort into things or are you the type that talks more than you do? Are you acknowledged of your existence and actions or are you never really noticed no matter you have done? I used to pour in my utmost effort doing things trying to gain recognition but people don’t realize what I did. Many didn’t even realize of my existence.

I learned if the hard way but I realized it’s never about how much you have done but how much people know you did and of people to actually see it you have to make them realize you first. Action speaks louder than words? People won’t even know you’ve done anything if you don’t start speaking. Very commonly in school based clubs and uniformed unit people who are nowhere near being outspoken are often unseen no matter how actively they participate physically.

If you’re one of those unseen you have to cross the line of silence, if you’re one of those who have been seen and brought up on top take a look at how much people you’ve never heard about have done. Don’t waste the burning spirit up unrealized talents. When the fire dies off, it’ll all be wasted. I crossed the line myself but not everyone could. Help them, and the result may be magnificent.

Action speaks louder than words, only if they’re seen.

Impossible

Would you believe there’s anything that’s impossible? The truth is probability only approaches zero. It never reaches it. Many people just give up without trying thinking things are impossible.

To be able to accept the results with near zero probability or what people call “impossible” is the thing that’ll make us go further than people. It is only when we attempt to venture towards the “impossible” we’ll be able to reach our greatest dreams. It is only when people do so the world can improve beyond expectation.

However, to believe the “impossible” doesn’t mean to dwell on them and neglect things that we can actually achieve so much easier. I keep wanting to achieve the “impossible” but instead much easier things like scoring in my academics I really don’t have the heart to achieve it. No choice but to force it though.

There’s no impossible, only improbable

Top

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2 weeks ago I received an award of Top Secretary for Omega Leo Clubs in the District 308-B2 for fiscal year 2009/2010. I am certainly not late in posting about it because what I’m about to say isn’t only about the award but more about after getting the award. The joy in getting such award isn’t because of the certificate, the pin badge or the trophy but it’s about the acknowledgement.

So very often we pour in effort, time and money into doing things but get no acknowledgement making the sacrifices that we have. Such award allowed me to feel acknowledged. I have always been thinking that the awards are just a minor plus but I getting it made me realize it gets me going. The award gives me what I needed all these while. That is acknowledgement.

This past 2 weeks I really felt more confidence in myself. I felt the motivation to keep climbing. I no longer feel that the top is a little bit out of my reach. In fact, I finally truly have the confidence that the ‘someone’ that will rise to the top could be me. I can be the someone.

Keep climbing till you reach the top of your mountain

Thoughts

Every individual have their different ways of views, thoughts and opinions on things. There’s this blog independentspeakers.wordpress.com where a few individual writers in that blog posts what each of them desire to express. Observe the diversity in the thinking and gain insights from the different views of people.

It is not possible for one individual to completely understand another but what we can do is to learn to see things from other views, to look into other people’s opinion on the different things around us. Though we may not always agree on these different views but maybe we can learn at least tolerate and accept that there are these different thinking.

When getting stuck at something whether it is a solution for a project you’re working on or some trouble with love life, try getting opinion from a totally unrelated person. That vast difference in the thinking might just be able to open up a way for you. Sometimes you don’t need a direct answer to your question. You often just need a fresh new point to get your mind moving again and that is where other’s thoughts can help you.

Open up your mind with diverse thoughts

Someone

What would you think when a big problem that isn’t related to you but affects you happens? I’ll tell you what most people will hope for. Most people will hope for “someone” to do something. Just imagine everyone in the world having the same idea of “someone” will end up doing something. Nothing will happen, ever.

It’s a topic I want to write for a very long time but didn’t have inspiration but recently I’m inspired by a blog post from a friend of mine, Clayton Tan Ju Chiae. In his blog post, http://www.juchiaetan.com/?p=215 he mentions a few selfless people coming of their cars to direct traffic when a massive jam was caused by faulty traffic lights and many impatient selfish drivers when most people are just sitting back in their car hoping for these selfless “someones” to appear.

At many times, we ourselves can be the “someone” that we’re hoping for. Stop thinking about what other people might do. When there’s a problem, step up and do something yourself. Next time when you encounter any problem, don’t think about what “someone” could do but instead think what you can do yourself.

Don’t hope for a someone, be the someone

Reason

Almost everything has a reason to happen. At many times however in our own actions we are supposed to know the reason but our conscious mind just isn’t sure. That’s in the case of our own actions but for other things like what is the reason some people are smarter, that we do not know of the reason. People then start coming up with their own reasoning according to their own desire. They can sound pretty logic as well. However, the most desirable question to be answered is the reason for our very existence. What is the reason that we live?

This question is a very subjective question. We always have the choice to choose to believe what is the reason we live. I can only say believe as I do not know if there could actually be a planned reason for us to live but I would like to believe not. Life has many things unsure and unknown. If you can justify your reasoning well, people will choose to believe it’s the truth including yourself.

Very often, we choose our own reason

Notify

Everyone makes mistakes and almost everyone would have a certain negative problem with what they do or the way they do things. These matters might not only cause trouble for themselves but might cause negative effects to other people as well. Often the problem would be the person doing it not noticing these problems themselves and think that nothing happens as there was no reaction or complaint made. As a result, these problems are repeated.

For the sake of everyone, make a sound. Stand up and state the matter if such problem arises. Stop whatever is happening with maybe an excuse me and start stating your case calmly. No harm will be done that way, instead you’ll be doing a favor to everyone with one problem fixed or on the verge of being fixed.

Notify people their problems, not everyone knows it's a problem

Selfish

Selfish is to be doing everything for the sake of oneself. How about helping people and then environment to make ourselves feel better? Doing good things and avoid the bad to prevent ourselves from feeling the pain of guilt? The outcome may be good for others but the main reason is for oneself. So is it still labeled as a selfish action or is it not?

I have always been clinging on to the theory of I’m doing good things for the sake of feeling better myself. I can take some displeasure myself for others as it might be worse seeing people I care for suffer and I don’t help. But up to that it’s still a point where I’m doing it for my own benefit. What if it’s not? Is it still worth it to sacrifice for others?

Is self or others more important?

Thank You

I would just like to extend a sincere gratitude to everyone who made my birthday a better day. Firstly to everyone who wished me happy birthday whether through IT means, SMS, call or face to face it means a lot getting the wishes as it signifies that you are not forgotten. Especially call from oversea, it means a lot. Thank you all for that.

Next I would like to thank the high school mate gang who went for the yam cha session where it’s the interval of another friend’s birthday and mine. It means a lot to have people spending that time with you. Thank you. I would also like to thank everyone who bought me present. Actually, I appreciate presents given from the heart most but nevertheless giving them show at least there’s a little bit of heart there. Thanks.

Finally I would like to thank the PJI gang who went and surprise me in my old school while I was playing badminton. I really appreciated it, you people really made my day :). I actually felt a little disappointed thinking you guys wouldn't come but you all did. Thank you.

Talent

Everyone have their own natural talent where they can develop and do great things with it. Everyone’s talents are different and different people will uncover their talent at different times. However, I can safely say everyone has a talent. After saying all this I have not reached the point of this piece yet. What I want to talk about is not about using the talent but about a choice. Everyone has the choice to not use their talent. Don’t keep thinking about your talent and abilities and choose your pathway according to that. Do what you want, what your heart tells you to.

I made that mistake. I had no direction. I didn’t know what to do, where to go. I chose the safe path by taking the professional course that my considered exceptional mental capabilities will be put into good use. I later realized it’s not what I want. I don’t really have the privilege to just change my course however. I just have to go on but I wish not anyone to make the same mistake I did.

Talent doesn't determine your path

Opportunities

Many people wait for the right opportunity to do many things like a vacancy post for an employee to get a promotion, a right moment for a confession and maybe even the right economical condition for business or investing. However, many people often miss their first given opportunities and end up waiting a long time for the next. In result, they waste a lot of time just waiting for the opportunity to come.

Ever since young, I’ve always wanted the opportunity to get positions in clubs and societies. I always wanted the opportunity to prove myself capable. Let us take for example when I was in scouts during secondary school. I worked as hard as I can throughout form 1 and form 2. However, no matter how much I do the opportunity doesn’t come. The reason being I didn’t stand out. Every position that I wanted to get I didn’t get the opportunity to. When I was form 4, I finally stood out but in the past people don’t even remember that I was working hard there. Everyone omitted my years of commitment.

All that can actually be changed by the actions I take. If I actually stand up and really go all the way for those things that I want, the opportunities can be created. Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you. Create the opportunities yourself.

Opportunities, when they come, grasp it, when they don't, make it

Gifted or cursed?

A question came across my mind recently. To have an exceptionally intelligent mind, is it a gift or a curse? I’ll say it’s a gift but it’s not all good. It makes a lot of things more convenient but the powerful mind will start to think about all kinds of things and usually you won’t get really happy from that. My point is “gifted” is not always good, not only for mind but in general.

I’ve been thinking too much on using my “gift” and kept my vision of my future very narrow. I suddenly feel that it’s not what I want. I never knew what I want but I realize that I’ve been looking in the wrong direction all these while. Aims and goals shouldn’t be restricted by the area you’re gifted in. Directions should be set according to desire and not talent.

Gift or curse, it's how you use it.

Lost

Recently I’ve watched an old movie called ‘Goodwill Hunting’. It was a 1997 movie about a janitor working at MIT who happens to be a genius. He was gifted but he chose not to use his ability for amazing purposes. He did not have any direction as well because he didn’t know what he wants. Along with that was his over consideration of the consequences of many things which made him being afraid to do many things. It really intrigues me because I happen to relate him to me.

Over consideration isn’t hard to overcome but being lost without a clue of what you want really makes things difficult. I keep trying to figure out what I want but I can never find the answer. I’ve said many theories and given many advices to people about getting a direction but the truth is, I’m lost myself. The only thing I can do now is to just impose a stable direction and hopefully along the way I’ll figure out where I really want to go.

Taking the shot

Everyone should set short term goals at every point of their life and try to take the shots to achieve them. I’ve set my 1st goal of the year and well, I failed to achieve it. I’m not sad nor am I exactly disappointed but now it gets me thinking, now what. This goal I’m talking about is becoming the president of Leo Club of PJI. In this one year time I’ll keep improving myself and have everyone acknowledge me as a good president material.

I may not score this time but at least I took the shot. I seek for advises and comments before the nomination, I nominated myself in the election and gave a speech straight from my heart attempting to get more votes. It’s fine that I didn’t get but I’m glad that I tried. I end up getting my second choice of post, vice president. I actually thought about whether or not to accept if I get that post few days before the AGM. I thought about it very long and came to the conclusion that I need it to keep climbing up in position. However, I would’ve rejected any other position other than that two.

In the past, I’ve always wanted to be a vice president but that’s no longer the case today. I no longer want to be number 2. I want to stand on top. I missed this chance, I really don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance again. I actually have different goals set next year but now, maybe I should change them? I guess I’ll have to spend time thinking and reorganize my plans.

Take the shot, you won’t regret it even it’s a miss

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Death

The deaths that happened and the things that people do after them these days made me think about the matter of death. To start off I would like to firstly say that all that’s written here will be based on my own point of view. I will not oppose nor reject any views that any other people have. You have your right to believe what you what but I believe that applies to me as well. So please do not use any religious points against me. Your cooperation is very much appreciated.

I will not talk about what happens after death but I don’t really think that matters. I believe all the ceremonies and all that are done after a person’s death is not for the deceased person but for those who are still living to feel better. Do people actually think about what the deceased person wants? I believe what people want is not for everyone to mourn his death or anything close to that. I believe that they wouldn’t want to be forgotten either. I believe that they would want everyone to remember the great things that the person has done and all the achievements of the individual.

No individual can live forever but one’s actions and achievements or creations can. Let us just take for example Isaac Newton. Without him, there won’t be the 3 laws of motion and those 3 laws led to many new inventions and studies. Up till today after so many years, people still know who he is. In fact, people studies about him. This is exactly the kind of legacy I want to leave behind after my death. I don’t know when I will die, thus I have to climb the highest I can at any point of time. I don’t want people do mourn for me nor do all kinds of fancy things after my death. I want to be cremated, have my ashes dumped into the ocean and people to take some time think about all the good things I’ve done.

It’s not the death that matters, it’s the life

Unexpected

Many things happen beyond our expectation. The picture above is a very good example. Which individual would expect to break their chopstick when using it? I believe none will but that’s what happened when my good friend Tai Kian Min was using it. It really happened beyond the expectation of all 10 people who were around that table. It’s not his fault, but unexpected things like this just happen.

In our daily lives we always encounter unexpected things. We plan schedules and try to follow them but these unexpected happening just happens when we least expect it to and force us to change our schedule. It is right to plan but every plan should accommodate change. Things usually don’t go perfectly according to plan. There are too many factors to consider and it’s almost impossible to consider them all. Which is why, your plan must include the probability of any part of it changing. Just think about it in a bigger scale, I believe you’ll get what I mean.

Every plan should accommodate changes