Codes & Principles

Every person should have their own principles to follow. Codes that they abide to under most circumstances. Having a code to live by keeps up in check so we know we don't stray too far from our way of life. There's no one code that everyone should follow. Everyone has their own code to follow in different situations. We all have our individual principles that defines us.

A person's code can be so many things. It could be something simple but meaningful like family first where the priority is always on the good of your family. It could also be things like always try not to lie or never talk bad about a person behind their back. always putting full effort at work, always make the person you love smile, never make the person you love cry of sadness. It could be anything at all but they have to be there to make sure what's important to us remains.

Some of the examples I mentioned are the codes that I follow. I'm a very playful person. I do all kinds of stupid things and play around all day but life isn't all about jokes, we need to keep ourselves in check and these codes are here to assist you, to help you keep yourself in check. Sometimes people may not agree to your principles but if it's what's right for you, stand firm for it as it's part of what defines you.

Our codes keeps our path in check

Humble

There are some people who think they are very capable when they are not totally not understanding the word humble. There are also those who understood the word humble too much that they refuse to accept any compliments at all even when they are actually capable. We must be humble and not show off even if we are capable but at the same time know what abilities we have and perform with it letting people see what we are capable of.

We all have our own level of capability in every different thing. It's one thing to show off what you are capable of but trying to show off when you're not very capable that's where you're searching for trouble. Not one person will like a person like that especially not working with that person. Always know where you stand and don't jump over your own platform until you've stood well enough on it.

Now even when we are very capable, it's not right to boast about it. Just perform to your capability and people will naturally see and acknowledge it. But sometimes being a silent worker people may not realize your presence, much less what you have done. We have to make our presence but stay humble yet performing 101% that's where are the best of ourselves and people will also see the best of us.

When we perform well we produce results. So long as our presence is seen our efforts will be clear and people will know what we can do. Jokingly boasting is fine but of course moderation is needed. Talking big will only make people question our abilities and if results don't match with what we say it will only backfire. Even if the results to tally with what boastings people won't like it when we talk big.

Show your abilities through results, not big talks.

Inspiration

We need inspiration to figure out what directions we can take on things that we do. When we're lost we often seek inspiration that can inspire us towards our next step. We search high and low, far and wide for something that can inspire us in any way but inspirations are all around us. Sometimes we try too hard to look and missed out on the little things around us. It's when we stop trying so hard to look for them, they appear right before us.

Inspiration can come from anywhere, anyone or anything. You may be surprised to know that our actions or words may have already become an inspiration to people in one way or another. You may feel that what you do means nothing to people and what you say is meaningless words but you never know what idea they could actually trigger. Also, sometimes you take a bold move you think might be selfish but it could actually become an inspiration since it's an uncommon move.

I have a dream to inspire people to succeed, to move towards the path they wish to. I'm nowhere near achieving that dream. I'm not even someone people would look up to in any way yet. I have no example significant enough to show yet, but I believe one day I could. But whatever it is, it's important that we don't inspire people wrongly. Believe in what you do because sometimes even if it doesn't yield too much results as it is, it may turn out to inspire others can create a strong effect long term.

Sometimes we look too hard for inspirations when they're actually just lying around us

Nice

You don't try to be nice if you're genuinely nice, ng nice to people is a commonly taught value. Everyone wants to be treated nice and that's why we want people to treat others nice so when it goes round back to us we may get treated nice. However, what would actually constitute to being nice? Always saying good things and complimenting people, is that being nice if it's not sincere comments? How about telling you some harsh truths that may hurt you a bit but for your good?

One makes you happy but keeps you in denial, one hits your mood down but is trying to put you on the right path. Many people live in denial and don't realize the first type of people are in that category, helping them stay in denial. More and more people avoid telling the truth in people's face, not because they fear they'd hurt that person but they fear it would cost them to be disliked by others.

Personally I've went through being hated for being too honestly harsh on people. I was a bit extreme at one point of time and I realized the truth blows on people could be softer. That's why I tried to phrase things in a less harsh way but I still have no hesitation saying the truth of things. What I think should be the right way things should be, the problems I see in people and the things I feel is not right I will just let it out and that I believe has made a number of people dislike me. For me it's a price worth paying.

Of course, there's also the kind of nice where we're always there to help people. It's true that sometimes people do take advantage of how nice we are and always use us for their convenience but does it really matter? In the first place, being nice to being is just because we feel obliged to assist people for their convenience so in the end even if their intention is to use us we're achieving our objective when we help them isn't it? That is to be genuinely nice, when we're not considering what we get from what we do but we're considering what good could our actions do to people.

Genuinely nice people don't try to be nice, they be genuine and they'll naturally be nice.

Care

Generally speaking, everyone have people that they care about and people who care about them. There could be minor exceptions here and there but that's not the point of discussion so I shall not talk about that. However, the people we care about and the people who care about us may not coincide with each other. That makes people forget that there are many who actually cares about them.

Many people and blinded with their focus on those that they care about. These people who they think they have sacrificed for and when they don't get the care in return from these people, they assume none cares about them. Think properly, is it really that none cares or are you closing off those who actually do care. It may not be the people who you want care most from but why not appreciate what is given to you instead of fretting on what's not.

Do we really care if people cares about us or do we care who actually cares about us? People who you don't really talk to anymore, would you assume they don't care? There are some that still cares but don't think you'd fancy talking to them. Think of people who once cared a lot about you, chances are they still do because someone who meant a lot in a part of your life will always remain special in a way.

Lastly, when you care about someone don't expect them to care for you in return. You don't care for them so they'd care for you, you care for them cause they mean something to you. Whether it's friendship, love, companion, family or anything, they mean something. To care is to be selfishly selfless. To fulfill your selfish desire of being selfless to these people. That's what care is, not to search for care in return. Eventually someone will care about you if you're doing good. Everyone has qualities that attract people in a way.

To care is to be selfishly selfless.

Unfair

Some people are born rich, some born poor, some die young, some die old. Basically our lives isn't a fair thing. Some lives die just after being born, heck some even die before being born into this world. It doesn't matter what we do in our life, if we're a good or bad person, the expiry we have in our life isn't affected by that. We have no control at all towards how we're born and how we die.

What we can control is in between, between the beginning and the end. Well technically we can control how we die if we take our own life but let us not take that circumstance into consideration. Let us focus back on the journey of life. The part where we can and is supposed to control. That's the only fair part of our lives, the part where we get to choose our path of life. The part that we have a choice.

Of course, the choice imposed upon us may not be the choice that we like. All the choices laid out before us may all be choices that we wish not to take, but we do have a choice and that's the privilege we all share. We just have to do what we can to make things better if things don't start out well for us. It may be easier for some and harder for another, that's life and life is unfair. We have just have to accept that it's that way.

So long as we live, we are still in control and we can try to improve our situation. The chances will only disappear if we choose to give up or if our time limit arrives. It's true that the time limit is unfair and the limit for us may be short but exactly because of that we should work the best of the time we have to make our life mean something. Those who have absurdly short expiry couldn't do anything and we couldn't do anything for them as well. Life is unfair that way, suck it up and move on. For those who have time, think of people who don't get this time privilege you get, appreciate and use it well.

Life is unfair, so just suck it up and make the best of yours

Idealistic

Many books, articles, speakers tells us to be idealistic and dare to dream. They tell us to chase after our dream instead of living a life doing what we don't like to do. It teaches us to have an idealistic thinking and believing things can happen if we try.

The society on the other hand teaches us to be realistic. Follow the rules set, study, get a job with good pay and you'll live a comfortable life. So should we be idealistic or realistic then? There's no definite answer to that. It's a choice you have to take.

Now, one thing you must understand is being idealistic is equivalent to taking a risk. There's no guarantee that your idealistic thinking can work out. Also, you have to be prepared for it not to turn out as you planned it would.

With so much uncertainty why do we want to take the idealistic path then? Because we get a chance to create the life that we want to. It's true that we might fail but if we don't try how can we be certain. Don't you think it's worth taking the chance if we might be able to live our life doing what we love?

Being idealistic is a risk we may want to take

Giving Up

In many cases of life tenacity is a good quality to have. To hold on to things and never to give up on them. It is a common teaching for us to hang on and not to give up on things that we want, to push on despite all obstacles that stand in our way. It isn't a wrong teaching as for most things persistence help us to get through.

However, there are things we couldn't blindly hang on to. In life we have to learn to let go and give up on certain things. There are a number of conditions that could make giving up the more reasonable choice to take. When the situations are so we should really consider to stop being stubborn and let it go.

One good example would be a relationship, whether you're chasing after, already together or have broken up. If things aren't meant to be there's really no point to force things to work out. After all, what we want is for who we love to be happy so if letting go would make them happier why not consider letting go. You can still be around and continue to love them but doesn't mean you need to dwell on wanting to be their lover.

Another factor is the time factor. The value of things changes in time and we move into a different phase through the progress of time. There may come a time where moving on to the next phase could get better results instead of retaining on the same platform chasing after the same target that couldn't be reached. Life is a variable, we need to adapt and not to be stubborn. It's good to have tenacity, but we should be open of exceptional cases.

Don't blindly hold on to what we should be daring to let go

Contact

In this era where technology is advanced. People are connected to one another through many social medias and chatting applications. It has become so easy to find your friends through technological means.

You can now just dial the number on your phone and there they are on the other side of the line. Group conversations are allowed in applications like whatsapp and there can even be conference call through skype. A more personal video call can also be made through skype and now it's free as long as you have internet connection.

However we tend to rely a lot on those connection now. We don't take so much effort to find all our friends to have a personal chat these days as we can do them online. The quality of our contact with friends have changed.

Is it a good thing though? It's very subjective here. It depends on how you use these means. The quality of personal contact should never be forgotten. You can do both but you can never over rely on technological contact. So use the technology wisely but don't over rely and it's all good

It's not the amount of contact with people that counts, it's the quality of it

Love

Love is a deep, strong and powerful affection towards someone. So how does this strong feeling of attraction appear? It is a feeling moulded through times that 2 people go through together. It is through really knowing a person and spending time with a person that the feeling is developed. Love is not a magical feeling that just appear out of nowhere, it is attraction towards a person's true self.

So does love at first sight exist? Well, that basically means you're falling for a person's physical traits. A person's physical trait changes through time, and being attracted to just physical trait I really wouldn't call that love at all. However, it doesn't mean it takes years to fall in love with someone. Months may be enough depending on how much understanding there is between the relation.

Loving someone doesn't mean your love has to be requited. Unrequited love isn't exactly that rare. Not all of us can be so lucky to fall in love with someone who loves us back. But loving someone doesn't mean you need to be their lover. Being a friend who's always there for them, doing what we can to make them smile that's not too bad. After all, seeing them happy should make you smile.

Another question is would you stop loving someone? My personal opinion is no unless that person changed totally like became another person altogether. The feelings may change and it feels different but their position in your heart remains to be very special. I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong here as I'm merely speaking based on my personal experience but I really think if the reason you fall in love with that person doesn't change you won't stop loving that person.

Now to end this will be the question is loving someone a good thing or bad thing? Love can cause us a lot of trouble. Love can cause us immeasurable pain. However on the flip side it can also give us immeasurable happiness. We just need the right person at the right timing. We won't know when or if it'll even actually come but so long as we don't give up hope there's a chance it will. When it does, you'll realize all the troubles will be worth it.

Love isn't all about being someone's lover

Best Friend

Do you have a best friend? Well, how do you actually define a best friend actually. A best friend isn't someone who would always hang around with you, going everywhere together. A best friend is a friend who would go out of his way to appear whenever you're in trouble, knows the different behaviours of you and somewhat understands you.

So now ask yourself again, do you have a best friend? If you do, lucky you because not everyone have one. In this world where social connection is made easier and easier we can connect and socialize with a lot of people easily. We can have text chats through whatsapp, calls through mobile and apps like viber and there's even video calls with skype. We interact with people and have a lot of friends who we can spend time with but among them not everyone has a best friend.

We all should have a best friend. The one friend who you know you can turn to when you're in trouble and of course be willing to be there for when they're in trouble. Especially in this society where people everywhere are wearing masks. True and sincere friend are really precious to have, not to mention a true and sincere best friend. If you don't have one, try evaluating your sincerity in friendships. If you already do, appreciate it well.

Friends are precious but best friend is priceless

Time

Everyone's life has a time limit. We do not know how much time we have but we know that the time is limited. Time flows in one way so when it flows away we can't go and get it back. That's why time is so precious.

We can't afford to waste time just waiting and waiting for something to happen. We have to go ahead and move things before time runs out. We can't predict how much time we have and that's why every moment we can save is precious.

However, there are some things that we can't speed up. There are still things that we can't do anything but to wait. We can choose not to wait of course but some things may be worth waiting for us. Worth or not will be depend on ourselves of course.

Now, waiting for the something doesn't mean to sit idle and wait. We should prepare and improve ourselves do whether or not what we've been waiting for comes we are prepared. If what we've been waiting for comes then we can be better for it as well.

However precious time is, there are things we want to spend time waiting for

Trust

In this society today filled with lies, acting, gossips and schemes it is hard to even trust anyone. Many have trouble with trusting even their own family members which are supposed to be the ones with the strongest bond with us. Blood is thicker than water, what relation can be stronger than family relation bonded by blood and a lifetime together? Even so, trust is still an issue sometimes within family members.

How can we trust anyone if we can't even trust our family members? The truth is we can't really trust anyone. It's a risk to give our trust to people but sometimes in life there are risks worth taking. Eventually in life I believe we will find people that we will want to give our trust to. If we put our whole heart out and the trust is betrayed we'd feel devastated but instead if we made the right choice putting our trust on the right person, nothing can be more comforting.

How do we know if a person is worth trusting? We don't and we will never know. The first person we have to learn to trust is ourselves. Don't go believing in certain naive thinking of yourself that even when you feel something isn't right you tell yourself maybe you're feeling wrongly. Trust your feelings because instinctively we know if we think we should trust someone. It may not be right but it's the closest you can get and it's a risk you'll have to take.

Trust is a risk, but it may be a risk worth taking

Age

Age is a timer on how long it has been since we were born into this world. It's an easy way to estimate which stage of life is a person in. Other than that it should be just a number.

Many people as the number get higher they get more and more concious of it. We worry that we hit the next stage of our life before fulfilling our targets set to be fulfilled within our current stage.

I believe we shouldn't worry too much about the number. No matter what age we are at, it shouldn't be a factor as to what we want to do. Age should never be an excuse to stop us from doing something we want to.

Age is just a number

Maturity

Maturity comes as we grow up but what do I really mean by growing up isn't just growing older. We grow up when we go through different experiences in life and we learn from these experiences. Age isn't proportional to it but we can't say age doesn't make a difference because chances are an old man would've went through a lot more in life than a kid in his teenage years.

However, there is no certainty in maturity with age because some people may not have much impacting experiences and some may not learn from their past experiences. On the other hand, there may be kids exposed to life changing experiences at a young age forcing them to grow up early.

A matured grown man may sometimes behave like an immature kid when things aren't serious. Every man has a boy inside but that doesn't mean they're any less mature in their thinking. A matured person knows when they can't behave like an immature kid but that doesn't stop them from behaving like one when they can.

People mature through experience, not age.

Dreams

We can see everywhere there are quotes, articles, videos and other medias telling us to be daring to dream. Many take heed of the advice and start having dreams, but how many actually take action towards the dream. As we grow up, we tend to consider more and more before taking actions. You could say we become more rational growing up but that is also a limiting factor.

Considerations on the sacrifices we have to make towards our dream, considerations on the risks that will be imposed unto ourselves if we work towards the dream and the considerations of what if we fail to achieve it. These worries become the barricade we put between ourselves and our dreams.

Certainly we have more responsibilities as we grow older. More so if we're at the stage that we need to take care of our family. The risk will no longer only be a risk on ourselves but may be to our family as well and that holds us back. If you've already reached that stage, maybe being rational would be the right choice.

However if you're still young and can afford to lose it all and start all over, why not take the risk? It's true that maybe it will cause things to get tougher for your future, but it might also turn out well and your dreams can be achieved. Dreams are meant to be achieved, but you have to go out and sacrifice, take the risks needed in order to do it. Sometimes we have to be irrational to achieve great things.

Don't limit your dreams with rationality.

Worth

The worth of things are different to every individual. A treasure to you may be rubbish to another and vice versa. So the worth of something really depends on the person who is evaluating its worth. Which is why we shouldn't bother so much when people say that something isn't worth our time, effort or money.

Only we can judge for ourselves is something is worth our sacrifice. There are many things through our path of life where we will find ourselves sacrificing for where people will question if it's worth it. Of course, maybe not every single one of them is worth it but for those that we deem its worthy they are worthy despite what people think.

Then there are those things that we sacrifice a lot for but end up getting hurt from the commitment and pouring our heart out. That I'm not really sure myself if it's worth it but I choose to believe it's a risk that needs to be taken to find the one. And after pouring your heart out loving that someone, there's just no way you could pull it back. If it's sure to not be able to work out, maybe learning to let go is an option.

I think I really want to let go but it doesn't mean I'm giving up on you. I know for now we can't work out, I don't know if it could be different in the future but for 1 year I will wait. However, whatever it is, I will still be here for you. You probably won't even read this but I can't help but to express it out.

Only we can deem if something worthy for our sacrifices.

Expectations

If life there are many times we look forward to something that we expect coming up. However with these expectations we face the risk of disappointment. When things take a different turn from what we expect, our emotions take a different turn downhill as well. And the more we look forward to it the bigger the disappointment will be.

It is human nature for us to expect things and so is the feeling of disappointment. We can choose to doubt every little thing and minimize the expectation but that would in turn cause other issues and I would strongly recommend not to do that. We just got to learn to be ready to face the disappointments if they come.

Trying to stop things from taking a turn isn't really an option as well. What we can control is ourselves but our expectations often revolve not on ourselves but on other people and that's what we can never control. We just got to face that fact and live with it.

Disappointment comes with expectations taking a turn

Unpredictable Tomorrow

Things are bound to change, for better or for worse. Items, system, people, they all change in time. It's part of what makes life so unpredictable. Assuming that the variables will remain the same through the course of time could very well be one of the most naive move to take.

We just have to learn to expect and accommodate changes that happens. What's initially in your favour could turn against you. Naturally to accommodate to the changes, we ourselves have to change as well.

In the process of growing up things around us go through a rather rapid change as we step into different sections of life. Changing is not a bad thing, but be aware of what is changing and take control of your own progress.

Even if we go through many drastic changes, we are still the same person and there is bound to be a base personality retaining with us. Some may choose to cover up the base personality with a mask personality but in the end what we really are is still inside. That is unchangeable and should be accepted and if it's a flaw, cover up with other areas that we're good with.

What's ahead is unpredictable, nothing stays perfectly same

Alone

I never really like being alone but it so happens I always end up being alone. The truth is being alone is not so bad at all if I'm meant to be alone but that's not the case.

In a crowd of friend, parties or events with many people I know, I still somehow or rather end up being alone. (with exception to certain groups of people) However that's still not much of a problem to me as it's pretty normal.

What's worse is where I'm usually not alone, I turn out to be alone. The feeling of abandonment, straying off from the group. Losing something that was once there. With no expectation there won't be disappointment but when there is, there's bound to be.

Emotional

It's been many months since I blogged. I've been emotional, went through an emotional roller coaster. Different things affect different people to a different degree. The same thing may appear small to another but it may not be so to them. The scale of importance of things differ among people.

I've been told that I'm being too emotionally weak as a man. However, a man's heart can really just be so fragile. It's not that I much weaker than most other men are, it's that I prefer not to cover up my feelings. If I feel sad, why should I act like I'm well and happy? Is it really wrong to just show how you feel and not cover it up with false pretence?

Well, I know sometimes being sad brings down the mood of people around you. Maybe that's why I've really been wrong, maybe I should really change.