Another New Year

New Year resolutions are not a bad idea at all to make. They’re like goals with time limit of one year to achieve. Every year I have one similar resolution. To be better than what I was in the previous years. Every year I try to change myself to become a better person. I know that’s very subjective but I will not elaborate on that. You can define the better in your own way.

A new year is coming soon. The same resolution remains still but the difference now is I know very well how I should change. In the past I’ve changed certain things I never should have but this time, I’ll get it right. It’s about time I get working to achieve everything I want.

2010, where slacking ends

Reflection

Every year end is a time to reflect on the year. Throughout the year so much has happened. I took up many things but end up quitting all of them as I realize you have to choose. I chose Leo and I have no regrets doing that. It’s like a second family to me. Not forgetting the things I’ve learned through Leo especially after getting appointed as the secretary. Definitely the best post I could have got.

Many of the friends were not often seen anymore since high school. To keep in touch wasn’t hard but how many actually takes the effort to? To my friends who we spent times throughout the year, thanks for the company and I hope in the coming year we could still do the same. To my college friends especially, we spent most of our days together in this year and I think we all enjoyed our moments together where our times were filled with laughter. Take some time and reflect the memories throughout the year. There's many things you'll see.

Without the past, there won’t be a future

My Car

It’s been quite some time since my last post and my car has been back for quite a while also. So, I think it’s time for me to post up something. The picture above is not my car and most probably i won't have that car but come on, it's Lamborghini, almost every guy's dream car. However however cool a car is, you won't feel it like you do with your own car. With the absence of my car I felt less power in my hands. Holding the steering wheel again is like when you plug the charger to your phone. It charges me back up even if I’m worn out both physically and emotionally.

Driving is real fun don’t you think? I really love driving. It feels great controlling a car on the road. For drivers who always fetch people, what’s so bad about fetching people home? I mean if their house is like far away maybe need to pay toll to get to that’s fine. But if their houses aren’t that far why not? I feel that getting someone safely from one place to another is a joy especially when getting someone back home at night. That’s especially again for people you care. And it becomes very important it includes girls. With car comes responsibilities and this is one of them.

I love driving and I love my car but not driving my car. There’s just a lack on the performance of my car. The acceleration of the car is just pretty slow. I have no complains on its top speed but its acceleration is just too slow. Other than that it’s a pretty fine car I would say.

My car, my greatest companion

Saddening

Things haven’t really been going very well recently. Emotionally disturbed due to some reasons, lost some stuff and then real shit happened, I crashed my car. As you can see in the picture, my car suffered pretty badly. I couldn’t even start the engine due to some safety feature that doesn’t allow the engine to start when it’s in such bad condition. I actually cried seeing my car like that at that time. I tried to hold it in but the sadness is so overwhelming. To see your own car in such condition is really painful.

I just hope things will turn and I’ll get lucky instead. Camp and trip didn’t turn out that great for me but that’s over. It’s time to work on other things now.

I'm back but my car isn't :(

Action

Up until today there’s so much I’ve written in my blogs, so many advices I’ve given to people and so many things I’ve said. However, how many of that has been applied by me. It’s not zero, just a very low number. It’s not that I can’t do the things I’ve stated, I just never. You may know how to tell people what to do but when it comes to yourself it’s just different.

At many times people actually know what to do, they just don’t and this is what’s happening to me. Well, what’s done is done and what has not will remain undone. Past can never be tempered with. So what can be done is add action to the words. Do what’s been said. Apply what’s in mind. Lets hope I can.

Do, don’t just talk and think

Achieve

Everyone has different things that they want to achieve. Achievements doesn’t have to be something really amazing or special. It could be something simple like being happy for one whole day. It doesn’t mean that everyone must aim to become a billionaire, a Hollywood movie star, a world class doctor or anything like that. Some people are contented with having a loving family and stable job. Some other might be contented being able to live a carefree life themselves.

There is almost nothing that can’t be achieved. That especially goes for something that has been achieved by someone else already. Wouldn’t you ask yourself, “If he/she can do it, why can’t I?” I would. In fact, I keep telling myself “If someone will do this why not let the someone be me?” You should never ask whether or not you can achieve something. Instead, ask yourself how much you are willing to put in to achieve what you want to. Talent without hard work means nothing at all.

For the past few years I knew what I want to achieve and I knew I can achieve it. However, I never knew how much I’m willing to give in to achieve that. Today I can say I’ve put in almost nothing at all. I’m far from achieving the big dreams that I have but it’s still highly probable to be achieved. It’s never too late to start working for your aims, goals or dreams. Just throw in your effort and you’ll always have a chance.

Achievement comes with effort

Control

Machines like the TV could be control by merely pressing buttons on a remote but that will never be the case for humans. Countless people around my age told me that they’re controlled by their parents. Parents trying to control their child well, that’s a very common thing. It always happens but how is it possible to actually control someone? As I see it, it isn’t at all possible. You could restrict people in certain ways. You could stop providing support for someone, trying to hold back someone or try to convince someone but you can never control a person’s actions and decisions.

That is exactly the case for me. I do things that I feel that I should do. I do things that I want to do. I don’t care who’s against me. I can argue for hours with my parents. I scolded my parents countless times for being unreasonable. It doesn’t matter who you are to me. Respect must be earned through actions not relations. The only thing the relations is restricting me is from taking physical actions. Verbally, there's no restriction at all. I can even use vulgarities with no hessitation.

Only one person can control you and that person is none other than yourself. Listen to people, hear others’ advises and think about them. You’re not always right. But when you are, don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself. I’m not asking you to be a rebellious child, please do not misunderstand. It is only how I do things. I’m just saying that if you really do want to be controlled not a single soul can control you.

People can’t be controlled

Choice

Every step one takes is a choice. That’s how it should be. Nothing should be forced and nothing can be forced. Every single step will always be a choice. That’s the fair thing about human life. Everyone has a choice. To attempt taking away that privilege from a person means to attempt taking away the one fair thing that we all have. However I think a lot of people choose to do that.

Many parents decide for their child. Choosing for them the steps they’re going to take. Choosing for them the path they’re going to walk. Who’s taking the steps? Who’s walking the path? One should always decide for themselves. Don’t ask for anyone to decide for you. The choices are there for you to make, not for others to make for you.

There is no right and wrong choice. If the choice is really what you think is right, it’s a right choice. Everyone has a difference scale and different view on things. What matters is your choice fits yours. There’s no choice that will fit everyone’s but there’s always one that fits your own. I always tell people, it’s your choice. There’s no right or wrong. Right and wrong are merely words created by man. Don't regret upon any choice you made, you don't know what else it affects other than what you can see. Of course, it's also a choice whether or not to take note of what I've written.

It’s always your choice

Opportunities

Yesterday was the school of key officers/RCC meeting/CLD orientation test and as a spirited Leo secretary I went. During the school of key officers, Lion Clayton the RCC told us that we shouldn’t neglect the people right at the corner as that is where the most hidden ideas are. He also told us that he was one of those in the corner and he was approached and is given the opportunity. That triggered me to think. Why? That’s because I was one of the corner people as well.

Ever since young I was shy and I was lacking of self confidence. I’ve always chosen to sit at the back corners where I’m more hidden. However, deep inside of me I’ve always hope that I could be someone. I hoped that one day I could be given the opportunity to be in the limelight. There will always be opportunity hanging around you but most of the time it doesn’t come straight to you. You have to step forward to grab it.

The opportunities I’m talking about are not only limited to the opportunities to take up positions or do work but it applies to every single aspect of the life. I’ve always regretted that I didn’t step forward and take all the opportunities and that is why today I’m no longer the one sitting at the corner. I’m the one sitting in the front row trying to get more opportunities to make up for the things I’ve missed.

Opportunities, reach forth and grab it.

Here we go

Firstly, to everyone one who doesn’t know, yesterday was Leo Club of Petaling Jaya Integrity’s 10^th Annual Installation and I have been installed as the secretary of fiscal year 2009/2010. To all PJI members, good job well done and do look ahead as we have much more ahead of us in this fiscal year. It’s only the beginning and it will only get better and better.

Before the installation began I fear the event wouldn’t go well. As it started, there were a few problems here and there and thus I felt worried that the problems will go on. The response of the crowd towards the performances weren’t really good as well. I really feared we will end up losing the crowd. When it’s the time for us the new BOD to get installed my fear faded. I’m up on stage and I felt proud and filled with spirit.

The directors we installed first and then the treasurer. And then it was my turn, the new secretary of Leo Club of PJI. I took my step forward and stand tall and proud. And filled with the spirit I have I replied with a loud “Yes, I do.” The VPs and president was then installed and they too replied with spirit. Then it was time for us to prepare for our performance. As our performance was announced the crowd started to cheer. I felt full of energy, filled with spirit and as we walked out the crowd went louder. It was really boosting us up and it felt really high too. The response was amazing and I really thank all the audience for that.

And now, to all current and even future PJI members, let us prepare ourselves for this fiscal year. Let us put in everything we’ve got and get everything we’ve ever wanted together. Together we shall “fishify” ourselves (Term from Lion Alan’s speech in the installation).

PJI, here we go!

True Self

How many people actually do reveal their true self to everyone? If you think properly humans are actually quite scary because you never know if they’re being true. People pretend to be someone they not or like something they don’t to fit in or even other purposes. Should people just become their true self in front of everyone? Personally, I think one can pretend to a certain extent.

Many people see me as a person who’s brimming with confidence. Ever since young I have always seen myself as a nobody, a useless person. As I grew up I keep talking about things I seem to be good at. Every single time when I fail or when people look down on me I feel freaking screwed up. I cannot lose too much, that’s why I keep boasting everything I’m good at.

Until today, I can see myself somewhere but I still feel damn screwed up being looked down upon. I can lose, that’s what I say and it’s true but I never did say I don’t feel anything when I lose. I need to be amazing and I know I can. That’s what I tell myself to keep going. Today, I believe I can not because I have some kind of special ability but because what and how I see everything.

In other words what I have been doing was acting to be stronger and trying to convince myself I am. It definitely works and I still do need to. However I never try to act to fit in, trick people or anything close to that. I only become what I’m not to change what I am. That is my choice and I won’t advice anyone to do it. I have no regrets doing this but it’s a matter of choice. Not everyone will like doing this so it’s not an advice, it’s just an option.

Can anyone actually show their true self at all times?

Why?

To make up for not writing for a month I’ll write on my favourite word ‘why’. ”Why?” is a common question that I would ask but if compared to when I was younger I’ve asked much less. Why is it so? It is not because that the curiosity has toned down but it is because I’ve came to realize people just can’t answer you some questions. There is almost always an answer but people just don’t know or refuse to answer them.

To know why things are as they are is the core of understanding. When you understand why things are as they are you will understand more or less anything. Plus, you’ll be able to remember it much easier.

All this while I’ve been looking at everything in the angle of why they are like that. It has allowed me to get acceptably good results in my science & math subjects without studying. It doesn’t require a special mind or anything like that to do it. Anyone could do it. It’s just whether they take the step or not.

Don’t just ask how, enquire why as well

Fools

As everyone probably knows, yesterday was April Fools Day. It’s the time of the year where we play pranks or trick people and none of us are supposed to get angry. It can also be said as the time of the year when you just can’t really trust anyone. This is definitely true in my class of S4 (TUC SAM January intake 2009).

It certainly makes me think back the past 2 years of form 4 and form 5. The cooperation of the class cannot be seen in those 2 years. This year however we were really into it as a class. We trick people together, get tricked together and laugh at the results as well as our process together. Although we didn’t really succeed in our plans but then I believe we have all enjoyed the process together.

To do stupid things together as a class in our education life is really a good thing. It is at these times we look back and laugh at ourselves together in the future. It is at these times we can still be “childish” and not be commented about it. After we’ve grown up into adults, the society will start to look down upon these kinds of foolish acts. But it is these foolish acts that give flare to our lives.

Here are some of our preparation process although we failed in all attempts and instead got tricked back. There's no video of tricking process though.









And here's a video of our class's foolish act. April fool videos by How Ken Lee, the video below by Chong Kian Seong.



Be a fool when you should and know when you shouldn't.

Luck

Do you believe in such thing as luck? SPM results were here just a few days back. I wouldn’t say it’s due to luck but I guess indirectly it plays a part I got 4A only. That’s a very indirect example of luck but there are many more direct examples of luck.

During one jungle camp I went with the scouts I shared tent with 3 other friends. I left my wallet in my other pants which was on my bag. Next morning, my bag was found about 15 meters away from the tent with everything outside of the bag. The tent was cut open and my bag was taken when 2 of my friends were actually sleeping in the tent. That was the 1st unlucky case.

Just yesterday I was in Genting Highlands with my college mates. 5 of us were sleeping in 1 room. 3 out of 5 had our wallets on the same place (On top of a table). Beside the wallet were camera and handphones. We slept at 2-3 am and next morning about 10+ we woke up and 1 of my friend found my wallet inside the plastic bag containing newspaper outside of our room door. Inside my wallet was everything except cash. Everything around my wallet remains untouched.

I’ve always lost in betting every time I did so. That night was one of those rare nights where I actually won although it’s only a few bucks. Next thing I know, I’ve lost cash and had to borrow from my friend. Who stole my money? Is it an insider or a worker or someone else? I shall not have any conclusion on that. Well, I don’t have anyway to identify my cash so no point anyhow. There’s no way to find the culprit.

However, when you’re too high or too low you’ll somehow rebound the opposite way. It’s a matter of balance. Bad and good have to come together to maintain a balance. One may have a streak of 1 type of luck but next would be a streak of the other. This is what I feel because it somehow seemed to always happen. But then again, luck will affect things but it doesn’t determine the results.

Luck, it plays a part.

Picture from http://quantumquests.com/Images/4%20Leaf%20Clover.jpg

Destiny

It’s been a while since my last post. Let’s go through things by time. I shall start with Valentines Day. A few of my friends told me they felt discontented due to not being able to even see the people they want to on that day. At most time things never go the way you want it to. You just have to keep trying in different ways. You might no succeed but at least you tried. I’m quite contented having done what I wanted to do on that day after a few change of plans.

Moving forward and it’s Leo Idol. Failing the audition is nothing as it’s quite expected. Being insulted by one of the judge who from the way he comments I could see that he’s not really qualified as a judge is pretty pissing off. Having my friend who was good almost not going through to the Selangor finals we almost wanted to screw the judge.

I shall talk about that particular friend of mine, Christopher Saw now. He almost didn’t get to the finals but with a little bit of luck he actually went through. The following day was the Selangor finals and he then tries to get songs for it. Me, Chong Sheng and Chien Lung promised to help him out if he passed and we did. Around 9.40 in the morning we went to his house, listened to his song, gave comments and help him find the minus 1 music for his song. After that we went to Chong Sheng’s house to dress him up. Except for the shirt is a little bit too big it’s cool. When we were heading to Chong Sheng’s house we realized he left his lyrics at home and so we thought it’s okay cause we can print in Chong Sheng’s house but there were some technical difficulties and printing was a problem. In the end it was printed anyway.

He was the only finalist who hasn’t arrived at that time and so I quickly drove there and we paid for some expensive parking. About 30 minutes before the competition started he came out to practice his lyrics while 3 of us style his hair for him. Then the competition start and there were a few contestants who screwed up or chose the wrong song. He himself suddenly stopped at the last versed and paused for a while due to the lost of rhythm. It was forgiven however cause even artist has this kind of mistakes but they know how to cover it up with their experience. And then it was the announcement of the second round contestants (2 people fighting for 1st place). Situation became tense, and Chris went through! We were all freaking happy at that time.

Chris couldn’t remember the lyrics for swear it again and that’s when CS suggested to him the song when you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating. Chris wasn’t sure about the lyrics for the second verse and so we went to find the lyrics for him in the mall. CS and CL then went to the Karaoke Box to copy the lyrics. After that I touch up the lyrics by listening to the song and then CS sms-ed the lyrics to Chris. In the end he WON! And he’s going for the Finals! Won't you call that destiny? I would.

Chris with his trophyThe Champion's trophy

Going on and it’s the Leo Club of PJI’s Incoming Board list. With no obstacle at all I’m now the proud incoming secretary of the club. I was an Interact for 3 years, one year a membership director and then switched to Leo and now the secretary. I missed out a lot on those 3 years I wasn’t a Leo but I also get to see many things I couldn’t if I was a Leo. I call that destiny as well.

Destiny, it's unexpected

Hard Work

Success requires hard work. That’s a well known fact but to actually have the will to put in the hard work for something you don’t really like isn’t so easy. I haven’t actually did put in any hard work yet. I’ll start very soon though. It’s really not so easy if you’re not interested. Interest is a very big motivation towards a person. This is exactly why people say choose a field that you have interest in to study.

Up till now I have always relied on my natural abilities. I can’t really identify what I have achieved through hard work. It’s not the I have never put in hard work in things I do but the hard work I put in has no result but instead things I do with purely talent sometimes has. Through them I have become more and more confident with my ability but it seems like arrogance came with it.

Arrogance isn’t really a problem at least from my point of view. So sorry if my arrogance cannot be tolerated but it’s a permanent change. With confidence and talent what lack is only hard work. I still haven’t figure out how to get the will to put in hard work but I believe I’ll work out something soon.

Talent alone is not enough

Chinese New Year

The start of a new year,
Based on Chinese calendar,
I hope it rocks,
The year of the ox,

Families gather a day before,
Gathered all in the dining hall,
Surrounding one single table,
All for one reunion dinner,

Home to home people visit,
Seeking their friends and relatives,
Even those who are out of town
With gifts and red packet going around,

Many give the blessing of wealth,
Many others the blessing of health,
But is it more than happiness and fun,
Well that is what I wish everyone.

Happy Chinese New Year. Although I’m a bit slow to have this post but well, better late than never. I hope everyone will have a happy year. I think happiness is still the most important thing people should have.

Happy, that's what we need to be

Time

Time is managed by people. There are people who are busier and people who are less busy but nonetheless people usually won’t be busy 24 hours. People set how busy they are. They choose what to take up and slot in their schedule. I never write for so long because I choose not to put blogging in my schedule. I rather use the time for a nap due to the pretty tiring college life.

Time is a limiting factor for people. You can never have enough time to take up everything you want. You always have to place priorities. My priority is my studies currently due to my aim of TER 99+. 2nd in the priority list would be L.E.O. LEO! Roar roar roar! There are other priorities as well but these 2 are always more important. You always have to choose what you want to put your time in. You can’t have everything, you always have to choose. So just choose 1 and be excellent in it.

People always have to manage their time to get their works done. There are 4 types of things to do. They are important and due soon, not important but due soon, important but not due soon and not important and not due soon. Which is the do 1st and which is the do last I’m sure everyone knows but which is 2nd which is 3rd? The 2nd one to do would be those in the important but not due soon list. The not important things shouldn’t be bothered until you finish your 1st and 2nd list. Always try to keep your 1st list empty by doing your 2nd list earlier.

Time, you just have to manage it right

An End to a Beginning

If you think I’m one day late for the New Year post you’re wrong. I have to wait for the day to be over to do it. The New Year’s Eve was good. It could be better, but it’s good. Thanks for trying to help and sorry for disappointing you all but it’s tough, I hope you guys understand. If you don’t get it means you’re not supposed to. What’s most important is actually not the place or what you do, it’s the company. The company you have greatly influences how much you enjoy something. As for Lung, congratulations even tough you couldn’t have her company for the countdown but there are many more years for you to do so.

I’m glad to have the company of those with me during the end and the beginning. Thanks for the company. The beginning of the year was good with the fireworks and all but after that, it’s pretty frustrating. I wasted I think 7 bucks trying to call people to make sure everyone have no problem getting home. Wasted I think over an hours just to settle everything. Finally everyone’s transport is settled and it’s time to get moving. Drove two girls home and then we guys went for a mamak session.

As usual it was eating, drinking and talking. There’s nothing much to elaborate on there. After that due to a brilliant suggestion from one of the genius, we went for a CS session in T-Bun. Finished at 5 something and 5 decided to overnight at my house. And so we fetched some people home and head to my home. We had a little discussion on the eve and 4 went to sleep while I and Chong Sheng talked the whole night. Minutes after the 8a.m. Jun Hsien woke up and we woke everyone else up. We went breakfast like zombies as all of us were real tired except Chong Sheng who was a bit high of not enough sleep.Guys at T-Bun

After that went home took my bath and wasted part of my day sleeping. Went out for about 40+ minutes near my house and went home did usual stuff and wasted the end of my day from about 9.30 sleeping again accidentally. Basically my 1st day was quite wasted and it’s time to catch up. No regrets going for the countdown though. Even though I’m one day late, EVERYONE HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

A new year a new idea