Ending

There will always be an end for everything. For this blog of mine, it is now. This post will be the last post of the blog. Never will you see a new post anymore in this waiyew.blogspot.com url. The age of 16 will end in a few days time. 2007 will soon end and begins the new year of 2008.

Endings for different things cause different feelings to appear. For example a sad feeling will appear when something good ends while a happy feeling appears when sufferings end. The end of this blog gives me the feeling of completion. The record of thinking from the happenings this year is over.

Since it’s the end, I wish not to write so much. I will now officially end this blog, LIFE according to a 16 year old.

End
Yu

Finale

A lot I have written in this blog. This blog marks the things I have learned from everything that resolves around me. Things that happened to me, things that happened to my friends and also things that never happened but I felt. It contains my feeling and teaching. The year is coming to an end and with it this blog will end as well. This blog has yet to end though. It will only end by the end of the month. Until then, probably there won’t be anymore posts but, who knows?

I’m going to stop not because I’m running out of ideas. Not because there’s nothing going on in my life anymore. It’s just that the time for the end has come. This blog marks my 16 year old life and will go no further. It will remain and continue to be here to let anyone who wants to read. I certainly will come back and read my own works of the past. Not just to humor myself nor think back my past but to remind myself of all advices that I give to others.

Often one seeks advice from someone more experienced or wise but how many of the answers one gets isn’t something one already knows. Many things we already know but at many times we choose to ignore it or we forget it. This is why I would read what I have written myself as often I can find many things useful that I have forgotten. You can often seek answers from your past. Even this can be found from my past works.

There were actually times where I’ve forgotten why I wrote this blog. I started off as an expression of my emotions. I continued on to writing lessons of life. Why did I write them? I actually hoped it can help people. But then I never found out is that objective reached? I can’t see anyone giving any proper comment at all. I just wish someone would actually write a comment about what I have written so far.

I hope now that this blog is coming to an end, at least someone would bother to fulfill my wish. I just wish someone could speak from the bottom of their heart about their opinion on my blog, that’s all. Is that so hard? I mean, you can even write as anonymous. Why can’t anyone actually do it? Well, if none actually bothers it’s fine. No matter what, this blog will end by the end of the month.

End
Yu

Phases

It seems there aren’t really anymore people who want to read my works anymore. Is it? Of course I don’t hope that this is true but well, I can’t seem to see any signs of people still reading my work anymore. I’m considering whether to continue on writing actually. Well, decision will be made depending on what goes through my mind and what happens to my blog in the next few weeks. Well, I’ll just go on with my post now. The idea of this post is taken from another blog but it’s only the idea not the contents.

There are many phases in a person’s life. In these different phases they change, they mature, they feel different things. The first phase from a baby to a kid none actually remembers their lives as a baby. What actually goes through a baby’s mind is not known. As a kid grows towards a teenager physically growth like pimples and sudden growth of height usually happen. Thinking of course changes as well. Well, 1 of the things is the attraction of girls will just suddenly appear to them. Their view on many things will change as well.

Within the teenagers age there’s still 1 phase which is the form 4 phase. Many things change again in this phase. Many things will happen to change a person in this phase. Not only things around us will affect the change but the mind itself will change. The view on things will change. These changes are different from the past ones. This phase is actually the pre-adult phase. This phase actually prepares one for the next phase of change which is the adult.

There’s nothing I can say about that phase as I have not gone through it yet. All I know is there’s a very high chance that one’s view will be different once more. Well, all we can do is actually wait for that phase and see what it does. There’s no point worrying what will change and what will not. Changes might be good and might be bad but no matter what learn to see its good side. I have not been able to take the changes at all but through time and through experience many things have become capable.

Within this form 4 phase things changed more than once for me. Every change that occurs, everything that happens matures a person. Till now, everything I see, everything that happens make me think, makes me feel something. Looking back at things I’ve seen before a different feeling, a different message can be felt and can be seen. Through this phases one doesn’t grow smarter or more rational, one grows more mature.

The year has not ended yet until now. There’s still one whole month more. None can ever predict what will happen the next 30 days and how will it affect us. The things that happened have inspired me to start this blog. There’s no doubt it’s possible that something happens and make me lose my interest to continue on. Will it? Will it not? None can tell. The future is unknown to us, we’ll just have to be prepared to face whatever comes next.

Be prepared for the unknown future.

End
Yu

Barrier

It's been long since I've last posted. Ideas will never stop flowing through one's mind so that point is definitely off. I write posts according to the thought flowing through my mind when things happen, change or anything. Things like that will never stop so that point is gone as well. The reason I stopped for so long is because many things that went through my mind has been things I wish not to disclose to public. The year will end soon and a new beginning is coming. Not only will the year be new many things will. Not to mention, even myself will probably change. Might elaborate on next post now lets get on with current post.

People form a barrier on other people. Barriers are formed both intentionally and unintentionally at different times and situations. Some people choose to form barrier to keep distance from negative people for example. This is what known as an intentional barrier. Unintentional barrier meanwhile would be something like maybe people with their ex couples even though it doesn’t apply to everyone. Well, the important thing is the point is understood.

To have barriers forming around you has its good and bad. Good is people won’t be able to harm you or influence you and bad is you can’t really get friends. Well, to have barriers is fine but not to keep it on at all times is very important. Not having a barrier wouldn’t be bad either as long as you keep your own stand and beliefs. To keep distance without forming barrier is possible actually. It simply means to be friends but not hang out together.

Barriers aren’t only for the whole of a person. It can be only working to block your mind from others. There are many who choose to keep their mind within their own barrier not letting anyone see through it. Most people who are like this have a different thinking compared to an average person. It might not be of great thinking but it’s definitely different.

Personally I somehow kind of have a barrier confining my own thoughts and blocking others from knowing. To keep all of the thinking to you isn’t a very nice thing to do. At some point there will be a feeling of loneliness as there’s none who really understands you. Another thing is you’ll feel like letting it out but some things you just don’t want to let people know. That point is where I choose to write diary.

Points where I want to let people know I actually choose to write it out. At many times I am unable to say out what I want to. It may be because of I don’t know how to say or I don’t dare to say. Due to being unable to express self through speech I resort to express myself through writing. It’s not that I couldn’t talk properly or have trouble thinking of what to say but it’s just I don’t dare to speak and also I wouldn’t speak if I’m not sure of what to. That’s what forming my barrier, it’s not that I want to.

End
Yu

Advices

People always get to a point where they do not know what to do. At these times they often seek for help from people, books or other sources. Actually, anyone can give good advices. The only reason one cannot give advices is the situation cannot be fully understood or the person’s mind is clouded. Actually the advices given by others can easily be thought out by one self. The reason one does not get to do so is because when being in the problem itself, people cannot think properly.

The advices given by others actually may come out as an advice one has given to others before. It’s actually quite normal for that to happen. It’s just because other people have a clear mind while the person in it do not. There are actually many things I have written in this blog which I have forgotten. As I go through my own blog I can see a lot of things I have not done myself. Just as an example I’ll say about the self-confidence point. One of my best points is actually the self-confidence. I’ve written that before, I’ve told myself that before and I’ve told others before but there are times I forget about it. Having no self-confidence I’m left as an ordinary or maybe below average person in certain things.

Another point that cannot be left out is to say is easier than doing. Many advices can be given but how many can be done by the person who says them? There are things that are easier for some to do and harder for some as well. Even though you can do it doesn’t mean others can. It’s not only the ability and skill that affects it but also the mind. Though there are ways to overcome them but for many cases it requires quite an amount of time and also opportunities to do so.

To conclude what I said, at troubled times always try to clear your mind or just seek for help. Refreshing your memories on your past ideas or advices to others may come in handy as well. But no matter how hard things are for you to do there won’t be a ‘can’t’ it’s always a can, only maybe there are other things needed for it to be done. Writing down your thoughts and ideas like what I’m doing now is very good as well. It may help other and it may help you in the future as well.

Your past may teach your present.

End
Yu

Teaching

Teaching doesn’t only apply on education though. Teaching also includes the teaching of religion, way of life and things like that. There are different styles of teaching by different kinds of people. Some may choose to just make people remember, some may choose to teach by punishment and reward way and some may even choose to tell them their own story or experience. There are other methods of course but the best method is definitely by telling them the logic so that they understand why.

People who do not know about thing will ask why. Reasons are very important for one to decide whether or not to follow, apply or even remembering. Many people do not understand this principle and just keep saying the surface of things like don’t this, don’t that or that’s not right, this is right. They just neglect the very important thing which is ’why?’. That is definitely the most important thing to be told if you want people to follow, apply or remember.

If we go into the education world, many teachers tend to neglect telling student the reasons things happen. Maybe it’s because they themselves don’t know, maybe they don’t bother or maybe they just don’t realize how important it is. I do not know the reason but I can assure you by telling the reasons the students will do better. There are good teachers who do not neglect this fact of course and the difference of the effectiveness of their lessons can clearly be seen.

On the religions, I do not wish to touch as religions are very sensitive issues and I fear I might offend someone or cause small commotions. Therefore, I will go straight to the teaching of life. For parents, many parents do not know that by punishing and scolding the children will not change. In fact, many children tend to be rebellious. They’ll just do the opposite of what you tell them to do. How many children are rebellious towards their parents I do not know but I can definitely say I am a rebellious person.

There’s just no use telling me things without reason. I’ll just take it as crap if the reason is untold. What I require is a logic that I understand and can accept. The logic of what I’m saying is people remember the reasons or logic better. Humans are intellectual beings. We can use the logics and reasons to create things. Pure remembering and applying is not good enough. The situation differs every time and therefore there will be changes required but with the same logic or reason. That is why we have to answer the ‘why?’ every time.

Don’t just tell people how, tell them why.

End
Yu

High? Low?

There are many things that go high and low around us. It may be the seriousness or number of problems, the spirit we have, our confidence or even the expectation of our own ability. Problems will definitely go high and low, it’s an unavoidable fact. Our spirit however goes high and low as it is affected by other factors which are usually problems. Confidence goes the same way as well accept it is usually affected by the things we hear or see instead of problems. Now we’ll go to the expectation of own ability. It goes high and low affected by our own actions. We can truly observe our ability when we truly do that thing.

Recently I’ve went for the JOTI event for Petaling district in Sri KL primary school. I am the representative of my troop due to my troop leader being a JOTI crew for the event. At the same time I was also the PL of my patrol in the camp. It is not the first time for me being the leader of something but I still can’t do it properly. I once again failed thoroughly as a leader. I have a very big problem which shouldn’t exist in leaders. I have a problem talking with stranger especially girls. In other words, I’m a very shy young man. For all this years this problem of mine has been a obstruction for me to becoming a leader and also being friends with girls.

Maybe a month ago I was thinking of myself as a person with very high capabilities. Through a few things in this month, this expectation of mine had a drop, a drastic drop. I realized what problems I’ve been having since I was small still exist till now. My mind was totally disturbed due to this. My emotions are having a little problem as well. In other words, my mood is like low, bad. I will still try to remain normal but if I do anything stupid, turn angry or serious suddenly or something like that please tell me but please forgive me. Of course, I would definitely apologize sincerely if I know I do wrong but you got to make sure I know.

Different people have different good and bad points. That’s true, very true but being shy and you’re definitely at a disadvantage, a very big one. There’s just countless of things that require communication among different peoples whom you’ve never even heard of in your life. Can’t talk to them? Sorry, that’s it. You’ll be failing your tasks because of that. The effects of failing them might range from nothing to losing things. People always tell me shyness can be conquered as you grow older, as time passes. Until this day, maybe I have improved but I am definitely still shy.

Different matters just appear in our lives. They may appear to be different in the degree of its importance in different people’s eyes as well as in different conditions. For example the matter of being shy, maybe it isn’t that big of a deal in some people’s opinion but as a person who wants to be head, it’s definitely important. I got to go through this obstacle to be able to become a good head next time. Basically it’s like that. So regardless of what others say, try your best to eliminate the matter as soon as possible.

Never think of low, just get it all high.

End
Yu

Poetry No.2

Rainbows

Rainbows in the night,
Rainbows in the day,
Rainbows are still at sight,
But their beauty is not the same,

When rainbows appear everyday,
It’s just multiple colors in the sky,
If rainbow appears never again,
It's magnificent beauty that just went by,

People dream of touching the rainbows,
People dream of walking on rainbows,
People dream of dancing in rainbows
But none dream of seeing a rainbow,

Rainbows are known as a magical beauty,
A beauty that appears all over the world,
Tales, stories, poems of this theme,
Very commonly written and told,

Rainbow Bridge a place for spirits,
Spirits of animals that lost their life,
A story that has gain popularity,
A story that might just be a lie,

Sunrays shining through water droplets,
An arc in the sky multicolored,
Magical stories are still created,
Where rainbows are the bridge to heaven,

This is my 2nd poem for public. It's still just a poem for interest so yeah, it's just for fun and to fill time usefully.

Different

Every single person is different. There won’t be two people you can find that will be exactly the same. Even so, people still tend to categorize others in large groups. For example, there are modern people and old school people, playful look and professional look, cool people and lame people and many other different categories. Of course, there is a type called hybrid. This type is the type that mixes two different or opposite types in 1. Hybrid doesn’t mean it belongs on both side though. It’s actually a totally different type that exists by itself.

From the meaning of it hybrid sounds like a type that is of two types but it’s not the way it seems actually. The elements of the two types will mix together and create a new type and not just 2 in 1. In the end, hybrid won’t actually be completely accepted anywhere. Of course nowadays it won’t be that much of a problem. I mean, you won’t see a person gets ignored or disregarded just because he is of a different type. Usually people are treated that way either by people who are immoral or because they are immoral themselves.

The same principle applies on friends. People who always hang out with more than 1 group of friends will end up being in no group at all. From what I know, people who are lost and don’t belong anywhere tend to want to become acknowledged by everyone. They will tend to be very spirited to making people acknowledge them as “someone”. Hybrids and people who have no group are this type of people. People who are both are of course worse.

I believe that hybrids are actually better in many ways. Everything has its pros and cons. That’s the way the world works but they are imbalance at most times. In this case I believe hybrids have more pros than cons. Humans are very special, at many times we will automatically take the relevant characteristics rather than the irrelevant ones. Which is why I think hybrid will be better. If you watch something like bleach, the hybrids are the ones that are exceptionally strong.

Well, after all I believe that I am kind of a hybrid and I also believe that I am especially good. As I mentioned in 1 of my previous post, I am also a person with no group. But then what I want is to be acknowledged as someone different and great. It’s my desire to be different, to be special. Even though everyone is special, in normal cases people will still categorize you. What I want is to be so different that none can find any category to put me into.

Well, the main point is not that actually. It is certain that every single one of us is special and we should be proud of being different, being special. We shouldn’t try to be like others, we should concentrate in being our special self. Rather than trying to following the footsteps of a great person, make the greatest of your own. No matter how good you do following the person, people will remember you as a mimic of the person and not yourself. So be yourself and bring our the greatest of you.

Don't follow the greatest person, be the greatest of yourself

End
Yu

Aims and Dreams

After one week and here I am writing again. What is a difference between a dream and an aim? A dream is usually just what people hope to someday achieve or have while aim is what they plan to work towards. Not all dreams remain a dream. There are cases where dreams becoming an aim someday. Things that are once thought impossible might be found out as something possible someday. Many existing things nowadays are here because of people’s dreams. For example, people once thought that a machine flying is impossible and now people are flying here and there like it’s a part of life.

I absolutely agree that people should at least have a dream. Whether or not it becomes an aim is another matter but it’s still good to have a dream. Even so, one must not be too obsessed on dreams and forget about aims. It’s more important to have an aim than to have a dream. One should look far beyond what the current logic tells but it is important to look in the world with logic as well. It is very unlikely that you can find something out there. That is why you have to get an aim which is far more probable than a dream. Of course, the best is having both of them.

People tend to have multiple aims and dreams they want to achieve. It is not wrong to have multiple aims but there must be a primary one. If there isn’t an aim that is primary, you’ll either end up in confusion or your spirit, effort and everything will be divided. With a primary one, you can put in full force in working towards the aim and you’ll be certain where you want to go. Other aims are just to act as a backup incase anything goes wrong. So basically it’s like just having 1 aim and switching it when something is making you unable to achieve it.

Dreams are different in this case. Multiple dreams aren’t a bad thing. Even having hundreds of them wouldn’t cause any problem. In fact, the more dreams you have, the higher is the chance that there would be one becoming reality. Even if none of it becomes reality it wouldn’t do anything to you so why not just have more of them. I’m not telling people to get more of it though. Even I myself don’t have many dreams. I only care about the most desired dreams of mine. Others I just let it be forgotten. I feel there’s no point even if others become true because it’s not like it’s one of the most important things. But then again, it depends on people so you should decide for yourself

I have multiple aims actually and currently the 1^st aim is to be a successful educator. Even so I don’t want to finalize my aim with just that. I want to do invest or do my own business with the money I earn. As I get more money I want to just invest and make an early retirement. Basically my final aim is to make an early retirement with enough money to invest in something I don’t need to always look into. In other words I want to retire young with money still coming in. If money is not enough or it’s time to settle down but there’s nothing to do then I’ll go back into the working world after the many years of enjoyment. The working world must be the field I like of course.

Dreams I do have more than one but I guess I’ll only mention 1. There’s 1 dream that’s been always in my mind lately, the dream to be a great man respected by the world. I always imagine that I am a special person born with special abilities with a special mission to achieve. It’s not like a hero saving the world from evil of course. That would be a small kid’s imagination. I imagine that maybe I can somehow make people realize something or maybe do something. For example, I can somehow make people become scared of something like global warming and everyone follow the ways to save the world from something like what happened in the movie “The Day After Tomorrow”. A greater but very much less probable example would be I’m able to change people’s thinking and stop doing sins and thus creating a utopia.

Even though that dream of mine has quite a low probability to become reality, I believe that someday I will be “somebody”. I believe my thinking and ability is amazing enough to bring me far and make me become “somebody” one day. This is not a dream but neither is it an aim, it is a belief. Now tell me, do you think my belief is true? I’m serious. I really want people’s opinion on this. Please give me your opinion whether it’s good or bad.

Aim with logic, dream without.

End
Yu

Privacy & Friends

Everyone requires privacy even towards their closest people in life. Most things you would want to express it out but there are some which you do not wish anyone to know. Some people would choose to still tell it out but as an anonymous person and not as themselves. Most of my matters I choose to tell my friends but there are still matters I keep to myself. I’m a person who requires serious privacy. I’ll feel very annoyed when people invade my privacy. No matter there is anything I’m hiding or not the act of invading my privacy is enough to make me very annoyed.

Everyone has their own mindset and thinking. There are reasons a person keeps things as a secret. Invading will do no good. It will only make the person create lies, causing conflict and things like that. People have best friends where they share ups and downs together but no matter how close they are they are not you. They won’t completely understand you no matter what. There will still come to space of your own no matter how close you are to your best friends.

To be honest I don’t believe that anyone knows all the things I do and the things I think about. Usual people have a group of people where they stick with most of the time but that is something I don’t have. I mix around within too many groups and because of that, I end up belonging in none of the groups. From one way you may be seeing that I will be able to join in a group no matter where I go but the concept is not true actually. I usually find myself walking alone.

One of the very weird things is the people who I take as my best friends aren’t the people I hang out most with. But that states a point. Best friends aren’t people you hang out with most, they’re the friends you care and cherish most. Even though people have their best friends but friends who are not best friends are not far behind. I believe friends should be people who care about each other and not just the people you hang out with. Even so at certain time there comes to a point where only a side takes the other as a friend and a 1 way care appeared. Nothing is wrong with that except the person would wish it is 2 way.

Thinking back the past, my closest friends has kept on changing. One of my previous best friends is still my good friend but it seems like there’s a distance now. Until today I have new friends and old friends but then my greatest friend is still my standard 4 friend, Han Liang. Even so, we walk different paths and head to different points. What we aim for is different and thus we won’t be moving on the same path. But as I said, best friends don’t have to be the people you cling with always but the people you care most.

Actually there was I point I actually thought I found friends I can share all of my thoughts spend most of my moments with. Ended up I screwed it up myself. Stupid thing I did right? Full story will be untold in the blog and untold even if you ask me unless I want to tell you. Almost everyone I’m willing to tell to already know the story so that’s it.

End
Yu

Exam Tension

Under normal circumstances I believe a person would at least feel a slight tension the day before an exam. The weird thing here is I do not feel any at all. As you can see, the time I am writing this post is 10 minutes to 12am the day before my history and BM end year examination. No doubt the people who have memorized the facts have the possibility of having no tension but I have not even started studying for history. It’s amazing that I can still relax as I continue on to write this post.

Well, why is it that I can still be so relaxed then? In this year I’ve began to have self confidence, no doubt about that. The thing is because of having to high confidence I began to become more arrogant as well. I started to realize that recently and I will try to stop this arrogance of mine. I rarely become humble and I don’t really like being humble. I feel there’s no point doing that, in fact I feel there’s possibility that being humble might shake my confidence.

As I reach this paragraph it’s already 12 o’clock. In one of my previous post I have said confidence doesn’t come from nothing. Without effort confidence will not exist. Until now no effort has been made on my history. That means I can’t have confidence in passing the exam. Does that mean I’m just aiming to fail? Have I become that screwed up? No way is that going to happen to me. The reason I can still relax is because of this night.

Last minute effort is definitely not advisable and the effectiveness of it has a limit. For the past 3 year (from form 2) I have been doing last minute revisions for history, the revision of 1 textbook in 1 night. Definitely to get an A for history with that kind of effort is near 0% but the thing is I do not aim for A. I do not aim grade A for every subject, I aim different grades for different subject. I aim according to how much effort I am willing to put in. I do not aim for what I cannot achieve, I only aim for what I believe I can. Being a realistic person might not be bad but having a dream is a good thing. It is by believing what seemed impossible that made the technology we have now exist.

It’s about time for me to end my post and begin my 1 textbook in 1 night revision. No matter how is my emotion and feeling now it doesn’t matter at all. My self-confidence will still remain even if I’m super sad. But then again, even though I have confidence I may not be behaving like usual. Well, I don’t think that matters. My point is, take exam without tension. Just be chilling like me (chilling like me only, not effort like me).

Exams are nice if you look at it in the right way.

End
Yu

Poetry

16 Years of Life

Sitting quietly listening to a clock,
Listening as it goes tik tok tik tok,
Listening to the going by of every second,
Seconds that goes by every now and then,

Reminiscing the past I could never go back,
Events of the past that I can never reset
Regrets I have, satisfactions I had,
Many things happened in this life I led,

I begun with nothing turning to a baby,
Becoming a kid and changing to a teen,
Countless feelings in these 16 years,
Joy, Sorrows and not forgetting fears,

16 years and it’s the year of form 4,
Recent it may be but it’s the best of all,
A year of experience, a year of emotions,
Creating a man who could build up a nation,

Maybe all are destined by God,
But it doesn’t mean we can just sit and rot,
It’s chances that are given by the Lord,
But it’s for us to choose to take it or not.

Things are gained, things are lost,
Many things changed including my thoughts,
It’s due to all the experience I had,
Experience that I will never forget,

Countless memories have flown away,
Some don’t even last for a day,
But these memories of age 16,
They will remain with me for eternity.

This poem is just something I created out of interest. If it is compared to any true poems I believe this poem is like nothing at all. My poem is very straight forward and doesn’t use symbols and stuff. Doing something doesn’t mean you have to be good in it. The most important thing is actually you feel better doing it. I may not be a good poet nor a good writer but I at least I feel better expressing myself through writing.

It doesn't matter if you're good if you're happy.

End
Yu

Of the Inactive Period (Part 2)

Many things went through my mind in this period of time. These thought were of the past, the present and also the future. As experience is gained through different events and activities in this period of time, I looked back and also look far forward. The events that happened in the past, as time proceeds everything else proceeds as well. I might be considered lucky as I have let a peaceful and carefree life before I was 16. In other words I have led 15 years of an easy life. Wait, is it lucky? I’d say no actually. Walking on a flat ground wouldn’t do any good; it’s the hills that build up a person.

Looking back into the far past I have never thought about the future. As my memories proceed to the closer past I was looking into the future but saw nothing of myself. Now, I look into a future and see success of myself. From the far past I knew nothing, as it comes closer I had guidance and as it comes to the present I have experience. I believe I truly have great potential. It is this belief that creates the image of success in me. In 1 of my previous post believe I have mentioned everyone has potential in something but I see more in myself. The reason lies within this post itself. The belief, confidence and vision I have in myself.

Looking back in the near past, I have gained a lot but there is loss as well. It is these gains and loss that has educated me and sparked up my potential. The loss I suffer is unbearable and because of that the spark of one area has transferred to another. One can never manage too much at the same time and because of that one must choose what to let go and what not to. I choose to work for what I’ve loss. No matter I can or not it is something I must try. If I do not it will definitely be a regret of a lifetime and no matter how successful I become it will become pointless.

The works I have written so far is not normal writing. I never thought about it in depth before this period of inactivity and because of that I never knew but now I know what it is that I’ve been writing all this while. What I have been writing is none other than the story of my own life. The emotions, the thoughts and the experience I have gone through. It is actually the 1^st ever reason I have created this blog. Even though there are still points I must hide it’s still better to express out what I can. In the very first place these written works are supposed to be where writers express their emotion and feelings.

Within these period of inactivity I had countless flashback on the memories of what I have loss. It is the belief in hope that is keeping me moving. I could just fall anytime but because there is still hope I will still keep moving. This loss is too much suffering for me. Finally, these two posts might not be as educational as all my other posts in the past but within this post are my emotions. Within this post are the feelings I want to let out.

End

Yu

Of the Inactive Period

More than 2 weeks have flowed by since the last time I’ve posted. Why is it that I have not posted for so long? Has no events passed by in this 2 weeks plus? No, in fact many events have flowed by. Is it because I have no philosophy I can input in? No, I have plenty of philosophy I can add in. Is it because I’m busy then? Well, maybe a bit but it’s not the reason. So what is it? It’s mood. Not everything should be done according to mood but if I blog when I don’t feel like blogging has defeated the purpose of doing it. I and a few of my friends of mine have been saying form 4 is like what a year and there are still a few months. So much could happen in this few months.

One of the main event is well, scouts AGM. During the speeches of the ex-COH, I believe many were actually hoping for them to finish their speech quickly. I personally do want it to be fasted a bit but was giving attention to the speeches at the same time. Even though I knew the probability of me being QM is very high but there was still the possibility of me being anything (except TL, FQM and secretary). Well, after all the speeches then came the announcement of the post holders. As the list goes on, the number of posts gets less but the post I want still haven’t come. There was a dilemma there as I don’t want my name to come so fast but I want it to be announced also because I feared I can’t get it. Well, in the end I got it so nothing more to say.

TL: Lee Kin Meng JTL: Chim Li Ching
Secretary: Lyn Kam Assistant: Joel Soon
Treasurer: Tai Kian Min Assistant: Cheong Kah Hao
QM: Leong Wai Yew Assistant: Lee Yew Leung
FQM: Caely See Assistant: Yong Chee Ken
Den Warden: Mathew Woo Assistant: Vincent Tan
IT Head: Geoffrey Kok Assistant: Shannen Kok

I still have not started doing my QM work yet. Well, I don’t think you’ll expect me to do 100% of the work right? Well, maybe I’ll do 70% but definitely not everything alone man. I’m not a normal person but I’m not that crazy. Well, efficiency of work done by me alone will surely not be as good as with help. Therefore works that requires a lot of effort should be done with the help of many people. Most people still haven’t started their work yet but kind of amazing what the FQM did. The kitchen now is like wow. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Even as the scouts QM I can say that I’m quite a newbie in QM. Well, I’m haven’t really been handling with QM stuff before this and I’ve done no post holder jobs in the past years. There are two kinds of people who will be chosen to take responsibilities whether posts, representatives or whatever it is. The two kinds are experienced people and people with potential. To have a successful leading board you need both experience and potential. There are people with both but in the case of not having enough of them you’ll need some with 1 and some with another.

There’s much more to write but I’ll have to pause here and continue the next post.

YU

Change

Time just goes by never stopping and never slowing down. As I write and write and as you read and read, time just passes by. Reminiscing back into the past, changes are certainly felt. As time passes everything just changes. If we go into individual, people around changes, your path changes, treatment you receive changes, even your own thinking changes. Basically, everything changes.

Things changes most as one goes through the different stages of human maturity. From babies to pre-school, from pre-school to early primary, from early primary to late primary, from late primary to early secondary, from early secondary to late secondary, from late secondary to college and university, from there to working from working to retirement. One’s life is separated into so many stages. Of course the stages after university can still be broken down but because I’m just a young boy, I am incapable of doing so. Basically I can only go till form 4 because that’s where I am.

Sometimes the reason the things around seem to have changed not because they really changed but because your view of life has changed. I can’t really say generally because I do not know but my life before form 4 is just more or less smooth. Sure, maturity still happens as different people are met, different things happen, and different difficulties are faced but I don’t think it can be compared to the life in form 4. Form 4 has just been one heck of a year for me. I’ve grown massively in form 4. In a short eight months I’ve grown more than I have in years before. The experience has really been nothing compared to what I’ve faced before form 4. If life is a roller coaster, form 4 is one heck of a ride.

I used to think I was already at the matured stage but after going through this stage of maturity I finally understand why people say I was still a kid. I have always been seen as a more matured person in front of my friends but back home I can always feel my immaturity. Now, I do not feel immature but I understand that one will not know one’s own immaturity before going through the stages. I wouldn’t say I’m already a matured person as I do not know am I and will not know until I reach that stage. Reminiscing back at only the form 4 past, so many feelings can be felt so many changes can be seen.

I’ve heard people saying eldest among siblings are more matured but also heard youngest among siblings are more matured. Well, in my opinion it depends very much on the situation. Eldest can be more matured because they have to take care of the younger siblings while youngest can be more matured as they get influenced from their elder siblings. Basically eldest get matured being forced by situation while youngest because of the influence from being with their more matured siblings.

I am a youngest child myself and I’ve always been known as a more matured one in my age group. I am influence by my elder brothers who are 5 years and 9 years older than me in thinking. At the same time I get influence by my friends who are at my age as well. These two influence mix and well, creates a hybrid, me. If you’re thinking it will create two way characteristics, you’re wrong. A different thing will be created. If you use mathematics for example, 3+4=7 it won’t be equals to 34. Well, maybe I’ll elaborate on hybrid on another post. For now, for this post, it ends here.

Time never stops flowing, nothing ever stops changing

End
Yu

Interest

I believe that everyone should excel in their area of interest. But then again, what if they suck in that area? Well, one may excel slower and need to work harder in certain areas but when there is will and hard work, one can excel in any area. Yeah, I did say we should find out talent and work on that but if our talented area is not our area of interest then it’s a different case. Although usually if we’re talented in something we will like the thing but there are exceptions so I am now talking about the exceptions.

Yeah, the work may be harder and takes longer if this is the case but because it is your interest, the negative feeling felt will be neutralized by the positive feeling caused by your interest. On the other hand, if you work on an area you dislike, no matter how talented you are and how much hard work and time is decreased, you still feel worse as the feeling of dislike is not neutralized by anything.

Everyone has their interest. There’s no exception to that. The differences are only how big is the interest, what is it and whether they realized it or not. It is possible for one to not know his or her interest. I myself did not uncover my interests until this very year. As you can see, I wrote interests instead of interest. In other words, I have more than one interest. Interests in different areas might start at any point of your life. Take myself for example; I never liked writing since I was young. Now, I have a great interest in writing. Writing has become my hobby. I have taken up blogging, I’ve been writing poetries and I even feel like writing a story now.

Of course, I still love add math and teaching. If you say talent, I would say I probably have talent in add math but if you say teaching then I would say I don’t know. Yeah, sure I’ve thought people before but whether I did a good job or not I really don’t know. Nobody ever gave me comments about my teaching. I hope people would comment so that I know what I am good in and what do I need to improve. To be a teacher it is not only about talent but it is very much about experience. Experience without feedback would still be lacking though because it is through feedback that one knows where to improve and eventually do better.

Actually even as a student, one should work hard on their interest already. One can even start a part time career in their area of interest already. It is actually quite an advisable thing to do provided the time for school work is properly planned and done. As I said, it’s not only about talent but also about interest. Don’t know you talent or interest yet? Seek and you shall find it.

Follow your own interest, not others'.

End
Yu

Experience

I was the camp coordinator for the 2 days 1 night PLTC camp in school for scouts which ended yesterday. I know I did quite badly. Many things I was late to confirm. Many things I got it done very slow. Many things I was very blur. I’m supposed to be a person full of self confidence but I really can’t be through this camp. My confidence is all gone. Why? There are just too many things I’m uncertain of and I’m scared of doing things that affect other people.

How would you know about things best? Experience would be the answer. I’m a truly inexperienced person in management. I never manages things no matter small or big. In short, I’m a newbie. Worse is I’m quite a coward actually. I don’t dare to do things I’m not sure that can affect more than myself. As I’ve said numerous times, self confidence is really important but it’s not possible to have self confidence at all times. What can we do then?

Experience is one of the answers. Once you’ve done something once before, you’ll know what to do and if you know what to do, of course you’ll have confidence. Of course that’s not for everything. I’m meaning for things that experience can help. Another answer would be prepare and do things early. If you settle and finish everything early, you’ll have time to fix or time to ask if you do things wrongly, stuck in the middle or not sure about things. With both add together plus the things I wrote in my self confidence post, you’re more or less a pro already.

I am nowhere near a pro. I think that I can catch things and interpret things quite well. I think I can manipulate knowledge fine. The problem here is my knowledge is limited. I’d suck in the first time. Experience is what improves people. That is why usually older people can seem to think better and stuff. It’s because they have experience in a lot of different stuffs. Oh, I left out this. Everyone needs to be decisive as well. I am not a decisive person myself. I don’t know what it takes to be decisive so I can’t interpret on it.

Actually we should equip ourselves with all kinds of positive characteristics but it’s quite impossible to have everything. That’s why we should concentrate on those needed most first. Once you’re done then you go on to those second in line. One of the main point I’m trying to say is I’m lacking the few things. That’s why I did so badly The most important is actually experience. If experience can’t be given, what I need would be a complete guideline on every single aspect on the thing I’m handling. If you ask me am I ready to be a good leader yet I would answer soon. Through every experience I go through I will improve. I’m taking up more and more things now. I’m trying to get myself experience and skills of different aspects. That’s one way to improve.

Experience beats genius.

End
Yu

Busy

Wow, how long has it been since I last blogged? It’s like more than 10 days now. Sorry for all the people who are awaiting my meaningful posts about life. I was rather busy with stuffs lately. Now, that’s like so related to the title. Busy. What I’m going to talk about? Read on and you’ll see. The emotional posts are gone now it’s time for some unemotional yet meaningful post. Masterpiece begins now.

Busy. Some people are so busy that they don’t have time to sleep while some are so not busy that they can just sleep the whole day. Different people are busy with different things and have different level of busyness. Now, what determines one person’s busyness? Is it their fate to be a busy person? Is it because other people want to make them busy? Why?

It is actually one’s choice whether to be busy or not. As said by the famous quote from Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility”. The more power and the higher the power you hold is, the more and greater will the responsibilities you hold be. That’s how things work in this world but things might be a bit different in certain positions though. At times as big shareholders of a company, or CEO of some company that can run by itself, you’ll be able to relax most of the time. That stage is not easy to reach unless of course you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth then it’s a total different case.

For normal cases, one chooses to take up responsibilities when the person takes hold of power in some way. As a student, I’ll go to school level. In clubs, societies and all, as you hold a post, you’ll eventually be given work to do. That’s why the more post you hold, the busier you’ll be. In that case should we let go of some posts? Well, it depends on you. If you think you can handle it and you choose to take it, go ahead. I for one am aiming for post in scouts. I already have a membership director post in the Interact Club but still, I aim for more. I want to be in the COH of scouts, captain of volleyball, as well as become a school representative athlete.

Am I aiming too much? Am I making myself too busy? It might be so but it’s a matter of choice. I choose to take up the challenge, to be able to cope with multiple responsibilities and do well in it. I’m currently still a newbie in many things especially management stuff. To take up different works is actually to train you in different kinds of works.

Now, It’s actually our choice to be busy or not. Everything has its pros and cons. It’s a undeniable fact. Examples of the pros to be busy as you won’t be wasting much time, you will learn a lot and you will rarely feel bored. Examples of the cons would be the time for other activities needs to be cut down, stress may be caused, and not much time to spend with friends or girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s your choice. To be or not to be. Choose wisely and may you enjoy what you choose.

End
YU

Training. Playing. Winning.

People usually train before they play and people got to play before they can win. So basically training will be the first thing to do. Followed up by playing and lastly ends with winning. Which is the most important then? I feel that there is no most. All should be done with the best of our ability.

Training. Yes, some people might be able to play and then win without training but I feel training should still be conducted. Training is conducted not only to ensure victory towards a game or competition or anything. Training should be conducted to improve one's ability. Even if one is good enough to beat anyone he sees he should still strive to improve and the way to improve is training. Well, training for teams isn't only good for improving.

Another thing can be gained from it. Moral lessons, teamwork, better friendship and can't be left out a day filled with laughters. Well, I don't know if it's every training but this day the 4 Ixora soccerthon team, All Sparks team training has definitely have them all. Now, I'll tell the story of the hilarious training of the All Sparks team. I hope I don't get it wrong, I can't remember exactly what happened first. Here goes.

First it starts with the group up of the team. while Kah Ken was away and is yet to arrive, we decided to jog first. After 1 round around the field, Wesley changed direction and moved towards a big tree. Now, what was he trying to do? Answer, pee. Now, suddenly after running rounds with Thomas, the ball was kicked up and ended up stuck on a tree branch. We threw rocks and 2 more balls we brought(throw and kick to be exact). We tried so hard but no good results still. Suddenly, 1 smart fella ended up making another ball stuck. Now, we got 2 balls stuck and unable to get it down. The tree was to hard to climb.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Say Chong found a super long wood I think about 10 feet long. We lifted the wood aimed and poked up repeatedly. Finally we got both balls down. After long time of hard work and cooperation among the team, we managed to do it. Later, Kah Ken decided to commence our training but before that, he decided to do the same thing as Wesley at the same big tree. Being influenced by the two of them doing that, I myself felt like peeing so I went and do the same thing.

The training starts with a game of monkey. Nothing much to elaborate on that. Next is the suicides. We all did 10 and Say Chong did 5. Nothing much to elaborate on that as well. Now, after the suicides. After that, something magical happened. Kah Ken suddenly said he wants to eat ice-cream. We were all like what the hell. I mean, who the hell eats ice cream after warm up? Suddenly, after about 10 seconds ice cream seller's music was heard. We all looked towards the direction of the music and the uncle selling ice cream appeared. We shouted to him and in the end he stopped and we all bought ice cream and ate them.

After that we did stretching. In the halfway of stretching, suddenly Say Chong shouted. What happened? Leg cramp. We were all laughing like hell for this. After the stretching we played game. After the training when we were going back to out bench, Say Chong suddenly tripped on the ball and ended up in a cramp again. That's the end of the hilarious training of All Sparks. We were all laughing like hell during the whole training.

Lets go back to the main topic. Playing is very important. If the game is played like shit, even though we win it's not enough. The performance matters as much as winning. Winning of course is very important. So what should we have to win? That's right, confidence. We must always be confident. Right, so I'll end this post now,

End,
YU

ALL SPARKS! GO!

Ability

Is there a limit to a person's ability? I don't know if there is but I believe there is no limit to one's ability. I believe that one can always improve no matter how good they've become. One might reach a point where they feel that they have reached their limit of improvement but I believe these barriers can be broken. I believe these barriers are just created by the one's mind. With will and determination to improve, I believe they will be able to always continue improving.

Even though I think ability can always improve but I believe people have their own talented ability that they're special in. It's not they can stretch out further but it's that they can improve easier and faster. One who does not work on their talent might still lose to people without talent but work much harder than them. In other words, "Hard work can beat talent but hard work can not beat hard work with talent," that's what I'm trying to say.

Now, one's ability relates very closely to confidence. Confidence must always exist with your ability. One's ability will higher when you are filled with confidence. On the other hand, if you have no confidence or very low confidence, your ability will be lower than your normal ability. That's the reason confidence is one of my motto.

Now, one can never be confident at all times and events. At these times I believe what one should do is keep motivating yourself and act confident. I believe I don't need to say more on the motivating yourself. Acting confident can affect your own psychology and create a little more confidence in yourself. It will also affect other people and cause other people to feel that your ability is increased.

Another important thing is motivation. One will need motivation to work hard and motivation to be confident. There are many ways to give motivation. In my case, 1 of my always used motivation way is self praising. For me, this way of motivation really works. I don't know if it will work on everyone but I guess it's one option you can try. Well, it's the only way I know.

In conclusion, I believe one should always work hard but concentrate more on your talented aspect and also always try to be confident. Even if you can't be, act like you are. Lastly we should also keep motivating ourselves. That's it for this post.

End
YU

2nd Tag

Alright, it's been a while since I've last posted. It's been a while I've been tagged by mike as well. So, here goes.

1.Do you ever lie about your age?

Except for some online stuff and those need above 18 years old stuff, no.

2.Do you prefer sensitive girls or tough girls
A mix of both actually.

3.Do you prefer blonde or dark haired girls?
Dark haired I guess but I don't think it really matters.

4.Are you currently single?
Currently and have always been.

5.How many things in the past do you regret?
A few. I mean, who keeps track of it?

6.Do you have a best friend?
Who doesn't?

7.What do you want to be when you grow up?
A tutor and at the same time businessman.

8.Who was the last person you hugged?
Err, I don't know. Jun Hsien I think.

9.Have you ever had your heart broken?
I guess so.

10.Have you ever thought about having plastic surgery?
Why would I? I'm pretty satisfied with myself.

11.Do you like your life?
I'd say most parts but not all parts.

12.Do you shop at hollister
Where's that?

13.Has one of your friends ever stolen a gf from you?
I never even had 1 to begin with.

14.Has one of your friends stabbed you in the back
Not any I know.

15.Do you have more girl friends or boy friends?
Sadly, boys.

16.How long have you had friendster?
About 3 years.

17.Have you ever cheated on someone?
I don't think so.

18.Has someone cheated on you?
I don't think so also.

19.Have you ever slapped a girl in the face?
I would never do such a thing.

20.What is one of your biggest fears?
Loneliness I guess.

21.Have you ever skipped class?
Of course.

22.Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
Well, yeah. Saddening day.

23.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
I don't think I did. I didn't even know people do t

24.Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Sure.

25.Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater,always a cheater"
No. I believe we should always give people a second chance.

26.Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out right?
I'm not sure. I can't recall any.

27.Do you ever wish you were famous?
Yup. I always have.

28.Do you ever wish you were a woman?
Err, no.

29.Do you think women smell nice in perfume?
Depends on the perfume of course but I don't think it really matters.

30.I would like to tag
1.Kin Meng
2.Bryan

Everyone tag 3 people. I'll make a change and tag 2.


Alright, how can my post contain a mere normal tag? 1 post shouldn't have 2 different topics either. All these tags are created by people. Why do they create them? For me, it's quite a waste of time unless I can think of a really interesting tag. Tags like this 1 is quite pointless for me. Making it is a waste of time, how about doing it? It's quite a waste of time as well I guess. Why do I do it then? The reason is I can manipulate the tag to write about things. I say it's a waste of time for me but it might not be a waste of time for others. If one gets satisfaction or have interest in creating or doing tags then it wouldn't be a waste of time anymore.

Lets take a look at question no.5, How many things in the past do you regret? Everyone surely will do things that they'll regret on. People who can live a life with no regrets are people who are living quite a great life. People who can do that are not people who are lucky and do nothing that they can regret on. They are people who can take everything with no regrets. I am not capable of doing such thing.

Now, lets take a look at question no.22. Has anyone close to you ever passed away? Death is an unavoidable thing. Everyone faces it one day. The person close to me that passed away is my grandfather. He was a really kind man. I was right beside him as he left us. It was really saddening but thinking about it after that, it might not be a bad thing actually. Who knows he's much happier after death? Then again, which is worse? Dying or seeing people you love die? I believe most people choose to die rather than seeing people die. Do they ever think, wouldn't people suffer more if they die for people? Well, I can't really say much on this as there's too much I do not know.

Lastly lets take a look at question no.27. Do you ever wish you were famous? I have always wanted to be famous. Of course I want to be famous in a good way and not a bad way. Bad way as in a stupid person, a criminal or anything similar. Good way as in all positive things. I believe that I am capable enough to be famous. My super high self-confidence is already a great aspect of mine that can make me famous. Confidence will boost one's ability very much. That's all.

End
YU

Y U Blog

This post will be very long. If first part is boring, please read on as it will get better after the 1st part. Alright. Mike said my blog is like a reality check blog and then Bryan and Wei Yeen said my blog makes them think. Besides that, Jerrard also said my posts motivates him. I guess my posts are on the right track then. The very reason I created this blog was to share my thinking. It can be to motivate people, make people think about their lives or even make people realize something they did not know about their lives.

My blog is like talking about people in general but the truth is it's not. It is mainly talking about high school students. In fact, it's actually mainly about me and everything that revolves around me. Maybe you will realize my blog doesn't really have pictures. Maybe just by having a picture or two and make the blog much more interesting but I don't think I'll do it. Try reading a philosophy book, motivational book or other serious books. I don't think they have pictures right? Why do I need it then? Same goes for my blog layout. I'm writing serious stuffs. Don't compare my blog to those diary blog man. They make it fancy, it's their problem. I'm making my blog simple and professional.

Alright, as I've written up there, my blog is about high school students. As students reach high school, they are reaching the part of life where you grow most both mentally and physically. Things will also change in high school. Teacher's treatment different, friends' treatment also different, parents treatment also, studies level also will be different and even yourself will change.

I've written in my 'life?' post saying that I believe everyone has their own destiny and everything is destined. It is a destiny that I'm writing this blog and people read my blog. Whether or not it helps in any way, it's still destiny. In my mistakes post I've written that there are mistake we must make sure we do not do. If you listen to my advice, it's a destiny that you listen. That is what I believe.

Everything will change in time even though we ourselves stays the same. Everything seem to be changing a lot since I've came to form 4. Things seem to have been constantly changing since I've came to form 4. Changes can be good but can also be bad. Many things have changed in a good way. Even so, of course there can't be no bad changes at all.

Actually many things have changed according to how I want it to change. I wished to be acknowledged and it seem I'm kind of acknowledged now. I wish to have posts. I'm the membership director of the Interact Club. I wished my class to be mixing around more. It appears to be quite well now. One should be really happy when things change like this but then life can never be so perfect.

There's a reason behind the writing of my every post. I don't simply think of something to write. Every post of mine is written in accordance to what I did, what happened to me, what I feel, what I want to do and also things about people around me. just early this month I wrote the post 'mistakes'. Obviously I did a bad mistake. Just this 1 mistake can make a seemingly perfect life become a screwed up life. That's why I say never make any mistakes like this.

Maybe you will realize all my posts lately are all emo like posts. And very obviously, I am emo-ing while writing the posts. Although a lot of my posts are serious but it is only lately that my posts became emo. Emo-ness can definitely be hidden but then it's really though to do it. At these times is when my motto has a bit of a problem. It's quite hard to chill. It can be done, it's just hard. Self-confidence is also hard to have. The spirit to do anything will just be lost when things like this happen.

When anything goes wrong or has trouble I usually keep telling myself that I'm smart, I'm capable and I'll be able to solve anything. In special cases though it won't do any good. There are just things that even a super genius can't fix. As I said, the spirit to do anything will just be lost when things like that happen that's why a capable person might be not so capable for some time when something like that happen.

Everyone's life just have their own road and have their own paths to be chosen. Every decision should be considered wisely before doing. I already said, just 1 mistake can be very bad. I've also explain how it can be bad. Actually I wrote 1 quarter of this post on Tuesday and continued and finish it today. Finally I have a day with enough time to finish this post. Alright, I'll just end this post with 1 more sentence. Choose your paths wisely and carefully.

End
YU

What is a man?

What is a man? I believe everyone has their own definition of a 'man'. Just a day ago, my English teacher, Miss Cheryl said that her definition of a man is a person who is strong enough to cry. I think that she definitely have a point in what she said.

I mean, how many people can actually cry? Some can't even cry behind other people. Of course I think a man should be able to cry in front of others. Many so called 'manly' people think that crying shows that they're weak and they don't want to show it no matter what.

Well, I have my own definition of man. I feel that a man should have 2 characteristics. 1, a man should have the courage to stand up and stand firm to protect. 2, a man should have the courage to let go some of his pride for a purpose. For example, to protect again. At times we might need to let go our pride in order to be able to protect something.

I also believe that one should not hold his pride so high in front of his loved ones. I think we should let out our soft side to our loved ones instead of trying to be all high and mighty. I also believe that a man is only a man if the characteristics is true. One who tries to act strong I believe is not manly. I believe it is one's true characteristics that should be used to define whether he is a man or not.

Well, lastly I would say we should just be ourselves. Whether one is a man or not is not really that important. Everyone is special. We have our own special characteristics. If our characteristics isn't manly, let it be. But then I would say don't be a wimp at the very least. Even though we don't need to be a man I believe that we shouldn't be a wimp. That's it.

End
YU

Success

What is success? In my opinion, success is when one has achieved what was aimed for. Everyone has different aim so everyone have a different success. Everyone wants to succeed, everyone wants to be successful. Even so, people who do succeed is far below people who want to. Why? What they think is what they want to succeed in. They don't think how.

I think that what we must have to succeed is my two motto of life. To chill and to have self-confidence. In the process of achieving success problems are unavoidable. We must be able to chill in those times. One has to be confidence in oneself at all times. With confidence, one's ability will increase. If one is like thinking he/she will fail, the probability of him/her failing is like very very high.

Now, lets go on to after succeeding. Actually why do people want to succeed? I would think it's so that they can be happy after succeeding. At least that's for me. So is it enough to succeed? Would we be happy just by succeeding? Of course it's not enough. Even though you've succeeded everything you aimed for, became what you've always wanted if you have just one thing that makes you unhappy, you still won't be happy.

Here leads back to 2 posts back. There are just mistake we can't afford to make. Making those mistakes would make our success mean nothing. So basically, chill, have self-confidence and think properly before doing anything. Only by doing that can you achieve a success with meaning. That's all.

End
YU

Growth

As time passes as things happens people tend to grow. People grow physically and mentally as well. The physical growth I think almost everyone knows. People who reach puberty will have this and that, people who reach adultery will have this and that, people who reach old age will have reverse growth and this and that. It's not my point so I won't really say on that.

Mental growth. The growth differs among people. When it grows, how much it grows and how it grows it's all different. It can happen due to just the maturity of the brain. It can also happen due to events that happened in one's life. One more reason I know is due to the existence of certain things or people in one's life. Whether there is more reasons to the growth or not, I don't know.

Sometimes just a single event can totally change someone. One event is enough to make someone into a better or worse person. These events won't happen often in one's life. These events will be like memories of the person's lifetime.

Things or people that come into one's life can also really change a person. A person lack of confidence might be able to gain them for example. It might also make a person work towards a change or even just change without even knowing it. People will definitely grow in time. It's just whether how, when and why.

So, just flow with these time and events and change. For the better or for the worse it depends on the person, not the events. How you change depends on your base character. If it's good, you're good. If it's bad, you're bad. That's it

End
YU

Mistakes

Everyone does mistakes. That's an undeniable fact. It's totally fine to do mistakes but then not all mistakes are fine. Certain mistakes if done can destroy your whole life. Of course those mistakes are really really serious. There are mistakes that might cause you to lose something or maybe someone important to you. Could be an item, your family, your friend, anything.

It is very important that we must be aware to not make those mistakes. If you make those mistakes, you'll really have to pay the price. The suffering you have to endure can be really bad. That's why people always say think before you act.

Now, what if you have already made the mistake? There are certain mistakes that can be fixed and there are those that can't. For those you can, you should definitely do everything you can to fix it. For those you can't, well, I don't know. I guess just leave it to time would be the only thing you can do. That's it.

End
YU

07/07/07

The number of post in my blog like getting less and less now. Why is it so? Is it because I ran out of ideologies? Is it because I'm getting lazy to blog? Is it because I'm too busy to blog? Well, no. I actually have plenty of ideologies I can write, I'm not that lazy and I'm not that busy either. Then why? It's just I don't really have the mood to blog. As you know I was emo-ing lately.

07/07/07. I was rather busy on this day. Morning I went marching, then afternoon rock climbing and at night Rotarian Installation Dinner. The rock climbing was kind of fun. I don't have any pictures of this rock climbing I can post up but then I have some old climbing photos I took in camp 5.

I didn't took any photo in the dinner either. The whole day I was rushing here and there but I would say the day is not bad at all.

Under usual circumstances I would say it's a great day. It's not that something happened on that day. It's just something haunting my mind. No matter how great a day can be, just 1 problem can make the great day not great anymore. That is what I realized on 07/07/07. The 2 feelings will just clash and both will be felt. That's it.

End
YU

Problems(No.3)

It's really been a while since I've blogged. Man, my post are all quite emo already ar. In 1 of my previous post I mentioned that I wonder why people get emo. In the end I myself got emo. Emo I guess it's kind of normal. Even when someone looks happy on the outside he might be emo-ing in his heart.

In my 1st problems post I mentioned that we should try to solve our problems instead of avoiding it. Even so, there are some problems that we might be incapable of solving. So, maybe I was wrong. Maybe we should actually avoid them sometimes. If a problem can't be solved no matter what you do, I think we should just try to avoid it so at least you might feel better.

What's the best way to forget your emo-ness? I don't know. I only know 1 way. Try to be as hyper as possible. Even if it doesn't work, it might work to at least cover it. Rather than being an emo and have your friends worry and all, try to be hyper. Ups and downs are just parts of our lives. The ups or downs may be higher or lower sometimes but without them, it ain't life. We just gotta learn to enjoy the ups and live with the downs.

End
YU

Problems?(no.2)

I've had a post about problems before this. That post was written about 3 months ago. As I've said in that post, almost everyone has problems. Life is just never perfect. You may see another person's life like perfect from the outside but what you may not know is he might be suffering inside.

I stayed back in school today and I had a conversation with Umesh. Our conversation came to a part where if there's no love in our life we'd be much happier. I believe that is totally true. In my opinion, love can either bring you up to heaven or it can kick u down to hell.

Lets go back to the main topic. If you look around you, you may see people who are life happily living their lives with no problem but then is it true? Probably not. Just take myself for example. I am like super satisfied with myself and my life. I'm like just enjoying my life with no problems. Is that true? I can tell you no. I have my problems. I have my cause of sadness as well. Even if you see me smiling I may not be really happy. If you see me looking into the sky or out the window with a seemingly unhappy face. 90% is I'm really not unhappy.

Conclusion, nearly everyone has their problems. Talk to your good friends or best friends. Probably they have problems too. Help each other, try to make each other feel better. If possible, try to help them solve their problems. That's it.

End
-YU-

4 Ixora

Right, it's my so great class. So called first sub science class. It's actually not a good class at all. Lets see the results. Yeah, the 1st in class got like more than 80% but then 2nd in class got about 70% only. The third goes down to about 69% already. The range of marks between the 1st and last is really really big.

Now, lets go to discipline. Our class has actually made a few teachers angry. Just today, Pn. Norshimah who is my moral teacher got real pissed off. She packed her stuff and just went down. In my heart I was thinking "Woah, sorry wei teacher.". As she went down, I don't know what the hell is wrong with my class, they're like happy. I mean most of them, not all. Actually I wanted to just scold them but I just felt like ah, screw it.

But then after that, the noise increased. My monitor then stood up and shouted. As I remembered, what she said was something like this "Class, can you all shut up ar!? You want to piss another teacher off is it?!" Wesley or Kah Ken or both shouted something back. I wasn't paying attention. After that she was real pissed and she said something like, what kind of class is this lar. Teruk betul. After that she went down to don't know where.

Now here's the best part. All of those made me stood up. I stood up and shouted "Class, what is wrong with you all!? You all pissing people off 1 by 1! Now you want to piss me off also is it!?" Even though I said that, I was 0% pissed. I'm more of disappointed than pissed. I shouted just because I want to scold the class. It was partly because I want to calm the class down also. I don't know if it worked but well, better than doing nothing.

The teacher is actually a good teacher in my opinion. I was actually quite sad that she was pissed off. I don't think she deserved that. If it's because of me, I will sincerely say sorry to her. Now, I don't know if it's because of me but I didn't pay attention anyway so I guess I should say sorry to her. I probably will do it but I'm not sure. I actually planned to become a teacher then a tutor but now after seeing how much stress can teenagers bring, I guess I should think twice.

I guess it's time for me to stop keeping my cool every time and start scolding the class. I am after all the assistant monitor of the class. I never use violence to control people. I don't do it not because I can't, it's because I don't want to. I am after all a taekwondo red-black belt holder. Maybe someday I'll be forced to. Although I doubt that, but who knows.

End
Assistant Monitor of 4 Ixora
Damian Leong Wai Yew

Friends

Alright, first thing. Caely, if you're reading this yes I'm copying your post idea again. Now, lets get back to my post. Friends. Some have many, some have a few, some are uncountable, some can be counted by your fingers. The amount just differs for different people but then how many are actually true friends? First of all, what would you call a true friend? A person who knows you well? A person who knows your family as well as you? A person who always hang out with you? I myself won't know what really is the definition of true friends. My own definition of true friends are friends who care about you. Friends who will help you when needed.

Basically that's my definition of a true friend. Whether I really have a true friend or not I don't know. Humans are just too intelligent. Anyone can just act as your friend when they actually don't take you as their friend. Even so, I believe that I do have them. It's just a matter of trust. I trust my friends especially my best friends like Han Liang, Jun Hsien and Thomas.

Now lets come to myself. Am I a true friend to anyone? It comes back to the definition again, the definition of care is just a definition of my own. If according to my definition of true friend, I think I am. Care is not necessary to be shown always. I may seem like I care, I may seem like I don't but I really care about most of my friends. Seriously. The 3 names I mentioned up there, as I said they're my best friends. Obviously I do care about them. Even the person I leeched the idea of this topic from I care. I may not show my care to you people but I do care.

End
YU

Tag?

Alright, my 1st ever tag in the blog. Tagged by Kin Meng. This is actually a rather interesting tag. Let's just get started.

Rules : For those who have been tagged, you are required to write a story about one of your crushes, be it a current or a previous crush. To be exactly different from the common tags, there are no questions imposed this time. All you have to do is to write a story about him/her. Also, 5 people will need to be tagged at the end of the post.You must post up these rules before you start writing.

Crush, I think almost everyone who are in secondary school or older have or had a crush or crushes. I myself had a few crushes in the past and 1 in the present. Many people have crushes in high school but are any of them actually true love? I'd say there is but very hard to find. Lets come back to me. Is any of my crushes true? I would say all my past crushes are just forms of attraction of guy towards girls.

In the past I'm super shy in front of my crushes. I was always barely able to even speak a word to them. Obviously I didn't have any girlfriend before. Whether or not I will have it is still a question with no answer. In the present it's totally different. I can totally be myself in front her. I can somehow just talk and everything without being unnatural.

Alright. So, loving someone doesn't mean you must have them right? Even so, no matter what there will be jealousy existing if they coupled or even just being close with someone who likes them. If they're not your girlfriend or wife, you actually have no right to disrupt them. So in these situations what should you do? Avoid, endure and just ignore. That's my opinion.

Even so, I'm sure you would still hope to be together with them. I keep saying in general but actually what I'm saying is actually about me alone. Even though there's no hope, the love will still exist. The love will never fade even through the end of time.

End
YU

Damn, I don't know who to tag. I'll just simply throw a few people from my friend's blog links.
1.Alwin
2.Suk Ting
3.Bryan Yong
4.Samantha
5.Sue Vern

My posts

It seems recently my blog have been quite inactive. I just kind of ran out of ideas of what to write. There were many many philosophies I thought of but never write out but I have forgotten what they are. I still don't have any idea of what to write even up till now. I just read through all my past posts. it seems I actually don't remember everything I wrote. My own motto of life I actually forgot about it the past few days. Well, at least I remember it now.

In 1 of the past posts I said I'm not qualified to lead because I lack of confidence. Now, I won't say I'm a leader material but what I can say is I think I'm a capable person and I have much more self-confidence now. I think I am capable enough to take posts now. I don't know if I'll have posts but I really want them.

My blog is just full of my philosophies. All my opinions on things about our lives. I never think twice before writing them out. I don't even think before writing them out. I think what to write while I'm writing. It's like how I do my essays. I think while writing.

Actually after writing so many posts in my blog I wonder if anyone actually likes my posts. Are the things I write actually matured thinking? Does what I write change people's thinking, help people or anything like that? Please comment on this. I hope to know. That's it.

End
YU

School

Cool. It's the last day of the holidays. School days will resume tomorrow. Right now there are many different people having different feelings now that holiday is almost over. There are some eagerly awaiting the coming of tomorrow there are some who want the time to just stop so that the holiday won't be over. Some people would feel that holiday is just plain boring and want to go back to school where life is less boring. Some would feel that holiday without school is just so great they wish it would last forever. My point is there are different feeling towards the end of the holiday.

Of course, besides the fun of the holidays there are other factors that affects the wanting of the holiday to end of not. I personally misses school life and schoolmates. I've always liked school actually that's why I rarely play truant. There are some people who want to study therefore they want school to start earlier.

This holiday came soon after the mid-year examination period. Some people who got low marks would feel that holiday is over so it's time to catch up with studies. That kind of attitude should actually appear in students. That includes me as well of course. Do I have this attitude? Actually I do have this attitude but whether my laziness is stronger or the will to study is stronger I don't know. So, lets wait and see.

Actually school life should be enjoyed by students. We should relax and enjoy the life as a student. When the working life comes that's when the stress should appear. We should just enjoy ourselves while we're young. Well, conclusion is just enjoy your school life. Holiday is over, go to school and enjoy it.

End
-YU-